the sad teen. Everything in life is f*ckin'
miserable. You constantly look over your
shoulder and wonder who is judging you...even
when you are alone. So naturally, you have
become a little paranoid and pessamistic. Your
personality can be one demensional but
confusing. You are constantly bored with life
and wish that something could spice it up. You
have a unique view on life and have identified
the problems with school society (Ex...what
makes popular people, how the student mind
works...) You would rather be alone because you
hate being hurt. You tend to think that no one
understands you, not even your parents /
guardians / friends. But that is just the
opposite! The people who love you want to
help, but they don't know how because they have
a feeling that they will say something wrong
and turn you away. You have to let them know
that you are willing to hear what they have to
say...and it might do some good to listen to
them.

Some fields you might consider going
in when you are older...Judge, author,
songwriter, producer, therapist, psychologist,
philosopher, or forensic scientist. You need a
job where you can express yourself and your
views on life. Or you need a field where you
can judge others and predict what is going on
in others life. Either way... you have the
personality to get you a good job that will
support you throughout life.


What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

>>..sometimes i wonder if these things were made for people like me.
then again.
nothing revolves round me.
i'm just insignificant.
nothing belongs to me.
so why in the world should i care bout anything?
nobody does bout what i do anyway..

being numb.
how could she have done it?
living with deprssion everyday and finally becoming numb?
..what a wonderful feeling it must be.
to feel nothing but observe everything.
if emotions can hurt one so badly,
wont life be better without them?
i want to live devoid of feelings.
i think it'd be quite great;
your mind kept on ONE single-minded purpose.
no feelings to distract;
only the will to grow stronger.
only the determination of conquer.
feelings only hold one back.
imagine a day where one would live independently--
no feelings,
no needs.
just pull grit and will to continue becoming stronger.
how amazing it will be.
stronger in every aspect.
more control in ever aspect.
no sense of reponsibilty to what one might feel.
nothing to distract you from that prupose to become stronger.
imagine if one could go without eating or sleeping;
only chnating on that mantra of that on that one prupose of one's life.
how amazing it MUST be.
i endeavour to live like that.

but it's sad.
she tries so hard.
she succeeds in becoming numb.
but she's just not strong enough.
like i'm just not good enough for everyone.
she fades into oblivion as time passes by.
insignificant.
like me.
like a butterfly.
we are ever the butterfly.
small, insignificant, insubstantial and forgettable.

sorry guys.i dont think i'm the person you knew anymore.
i cant go back to the way i was.
things change.
people change.
i used to care for what people thought of me.
now i dont.
i'm sorry.

i dont want to feel.
i dont want to need.
i want ot be numb.
a shell of my former hypocritical self.
forever more..
forever more..

i have no right to pity myself.
i have no right to feel stressed.
i have no right to feel sad.
depressed?
am i really?
id ont know anymore.
too much angst.
too much reading.
i'm being absorbed into a world that is not my own.
i am ebing absorbed into an alternate world of fiction,
not reality.
in that world,
i'm different.
who knew one person can be so different?
i thought i was true to myself.
now i know why people lie to themselves.
in front of the masses,
i'm one person.
behind the facade,
WHO AM I?
is this a case of an identity crisis?
or am i caught in my own web of trickery?
i never meant to hurt anyone.
i never meant to gain enemies.
i never meant to be fake..
..but i guess we huamans dont plan for alot of things.
i wanted to please.
i wanted SO MUCH to be the person i protrayed myself to be.
but yet..
who am i?
and now,
i am scared.
so very afraid.
2 very different people.
morose and indifferent.
bubbly and ever-pleaser.
i long to be the latter.
but i'm caught now in a dimension where i am both.
slowly,
people are seeing through it.
looking past me,
into my other self.
and they hate it.
who am i to complain.
it's my fault anyway.
i should have been a complete loner from the beginning.
i always knew i was one anyway.
the insecurity is unbearable.
when will i finally give in?
the minutes are ticking away.
i know my true revealing isnt far away...

leave me alone.
ALL of you.
i dont deserve your attention...

Chinese new year's here again.
will it be the same as last year?
will anything be the same again?
we dont know, do we?
..of course not.
but i hope for my sanity's sake,
it's not gonna be the same.
i set targets.
i disappoint myself each time.
sometimes i dont see the point in setting them.
afetr all..
i'll just disappoint myself again.
so what's the f***ing point?
i dont get why we're even living sometimes.
if life is so disappointing,
shouldnt we just end it all..
..NOW?
nothing matters anymore.
i frankly dont pay any attention to anything anymore.
but despite all that..
..i'm never good enough.
some people are just so lucky.

how i hate that feeling..
but i never seem to be able to escape it.
you spend and give so much devotion,
but you're NEVER good enough.
it starts of as a small nagging feeling;
small, insignificant.
then it grows and snowballs.
it's hard to imagine how something so insignificant can balloon into something of such emotional trauma.
it feeds on optimism,
thrives on achievement
and grows with disappoinment.
what a good host i must be.
well, at least it's something i can be proud of.

pathetic.
life's pathertic..

I'M PATHETIC..

Current friends.
old friends.
acquaintances.
new enemies.
..new friends?

is that what friendship's all about?
some times i wonder.
i really wonder.
i don't know what to think anymore.

i've changed.
you've changed.
the world 's changed.
time's moved on.
to stay?
to go?
i'm not playing the same game anymore.
the ball's in YOUR court.
whatever decision you make;
live with it.
cos i know that whatever i get,
i'll get over it.
some how.
i know i will.
that only leaves you.
take my friendship;
smash it,
trample on it,
throw it away.
i don't care anymore.
it's all about you.
i'll get over it.

..will you?

Enough.
I'm done with self pity.
I'm done with anger.
Bring on everything else;
cos now i know who i can count on;
now i know who won't cause me agony;
i know who treasure my friendship.
so thank you.
i really do.

Sec 3 life;
i never expected it to be so different..
..so tough.
i thought i could handle anything after sec 2.
i guess i was wrong.
and it's not even bad for me;
it's so much worse for others.
i cant understand how anybody can survive all this shit.
it's already in to the 5th week.
ONLY the 5th week,
of the first term,
of the whole year.
SURELY things can't look THAT bad, right?
generalization doesn't do any good.
i can only hope that things look up;
that things will go back to a certain normality;
that things won't look so doomed fo some,
that things won't look too much for others.
Sure;
the work's harder,
there's more to study,
there're more activities.
but that doesnt mean a person cant be happy,
right?

i guess i cant say anything much to help those in distress;
cos i, frankly, dont have much.
i guess i'm too selfish and petty sometimes;
complaining bout simple things,
that others don't have the luxury to complain about.
wellt ehn.
enough complaining,
enough self pity.
on with work.
no more excuses for failing to reach ANY goal.
i wont be able to live it down if i do.

*hey zi:
know you're kinda stressed now..
but lighten up yeah?
dont look so down..it scares people.
but i know it's hard to look happy all the time.
take it from me.
so i hope for your sake,
that whoever's problems can be setlled;
and that that bitch will just leave the others alone.
and again i say..
you're strong zi;
believe me, if it's the last thing you do.

*hey CAMPFIRE UNDERSTUDY:
know it's mean calling you like that,
but you really deserve that respect for the shit you've handled so far.
again i say..
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!
whatever happens,
DON'T, i repeat, DON'T,
EVER develop a black face,
looks spooky on your normal face.
abd hey;
whatever it is..
handle one thing at a time.
that's how anything will be completed, yeah?
add oil, add oil.

*the third person:
you know who you are.
i told you already.
call me a hypocrite if you like,
but i guess i'm only good at helping people,
and being a burden to those helping me, eh?
and since YOU'VE made the decision,
don't EVER back down on me.
i WILL not survive,
understand?

*sum1:
it's been a long time, huh?
and yes,
i guess everything's good between us now.
not so good on the surface,
but settled beneath that, i hope?
i dont know what happened in the past;
i farnkly dont care.
it was angry,
it was regretted.
so i hopw you forget it too.
and whatever problem it is.
i give you my promise.
i will try and help you,
whatever it is;
only YOU have to let me.

*lilin:
THANKS DARLING FOR BEING SO SWEET!!
thanks for all those encouragement tags.
they really help.
let me know that at least there's SOMEONE
who accepts me,
for who i am;
not who they THINK they see.
it's comforting.
so thanks.
and with AHEm,
it's hard, yes,
but yu gotta get over AHEM sooner or later.
maybe closure lies in the yet-to-be-made phone call,
give it thought, yeah?

*belle:
thanks for the encouragement too!
don't know how you handle it too.
you can seem so pissed for a moment,
but the next,
you're belle again.
wierd, dont you think?
thanks for everything.
call me up when you wanna study again, yeah?
and p.s.
WE STILL GOT OUR REPORT TO DO!!

life is an obstacle course;
life lines, like your harness,
are your family.
holding you safe, no matter what comes your way.
they're always there with you through,
be it during HIGH elements, or simple climbing.
keeping you safe, not letting you fall.
friends ar like spotters,
they prevent you from hurting yourself too badly on the outside.
giving your timid heart a boost from the inside.
yet some spotters arent trustworthy.
they let you injure yourself.
the TRUE spotters are those who are with you,
in the rain, and through your fear.
and most important of all.
God is like the belayer.
He is the one who prevents your death;
you just have to trust and depend on Him.
but through EVERYTHING.
you KNOW He can be trusted.
you KNOW that He will make it all better..
..you only need to ask.

Life goes on.

why?
why?!
i know it's not about you;
it's me.
it's always me.
no shadow of a doubt.
it's always me.
i'm sorry.
but i cant always be.
i cant go on living like i've got debts to be paid.
yes;
i owe you BOTH an apology.
i'm sorry.
but from now on,
i'm no longer going to be.
i've had enough.
no more mental thrashing.
no more mental replaying of conversations.
no longer am i going to regret
ANYTHING I SAID TO YOU!!
so take it or leave it.
my sanity is on the line.
if you choose to leave it,
it's fine by me.
i'm becoming more of the person you see me as anyway;
heartless, cold and proud.
i COULD be all that.
you see me as all that.
i bet you both do.
and YOU.
do you not think i worry too?!
it's not always about you.
YOU.
always breaking down.
sympathy drawn like an eternal spring.
guising me as a scapegoat for your incapacity.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
i leave you to your own devices.
my friendship is but a thin thread;
i'm still holding on.
will YOU both??

and you.
thank you.
i cannot say anything to express my gratitude.
i pushed you away.
you came back knowing i could do it again.
till i pushed you to your max.
and now,
you gone away.
for good.
i cant blame you.
i'm sorry;
i failed to see who were truly important.
and now,
i will spend the rest of my time regretting it.
so if you choose to cut those threads;
please know that you're leaving behind something;
no one will ever see again.
only will i regert what i did to YOU.
and no one else..
and no one else...

Life goes on...
really?

Suffering.
Pain.
Agony.
Loss.
Oblivion.

Sacrifice.
Hate.
Anger.
Desperation.
Recklessness.

Loss.
Rejection.
Regret.
Anger.
DEATH.

...peace.

I can't give up,
I can't give in to temptation,
I can't stop trying.
I must not.

Then what am i doing?

I'm not ready to lose yet--
am i really?
or have i already stopped trying?
my determination's leaving me,
abandoning me.

Why does everybody leave me?
Why don't i have any one for myself?

...the facts are quite plain.
acceptance eludes me.

Am i not prety enough?
...Is my heart too broken?
...Do i cry to much?
...Am i too outspoken?
I THOUGHT i made you laugh,
...should i try it harder?

Why do you see right through me?

Stress.
it's comsunming us, more and more each day;
devouring us from within,
relishing in victory at our distress,
laughing when we break down from it.
day by day, we TRY to survive.
barely crawling out of its grasp;
wounded and exhausted.
is THIS the kind of life we wanna life?
..is THIS the kind of life i wanna live?!
sometimes i just feel like throwing it all away;
throwing all known caution to the wind;
only to TRULE enjoy pure, unadulterated freedom.
but we cant do that, can we?
it's always the same questions,
always the same answers.
all are cold hard facts.
we cant run away from them.
..or can we?

it's always pile of work,
after pile of work.
and after all that, you still have REVISION to do.
and no..it's not like revision in the past when one chpt's so short;
it's LONG, chunky sections that need to memorized.
TORTURE.
that's what it is;
torture.
i wonder if there will EVER be a day when we can forget bout all this--
forget bout work.
forget bout expectations.
forget bout stress.
there will NEVER be a day,
will there?
then, if that is the case..
what are we living for?
to be killed SLOWLY everyday?
i'd rather not.

physical pain might just be the answer;
might just be the connection between the psycological mortification
and physical inadequacy to cope wtih the mental torture of it all.
who, in their "right mind" will know, right?
because people in their "right mind" don't self inflict, right?
then what if the roles are reversed?
couldn't the people who self inflict be in their "right minds"?
there must be one point or another in out lives we can identify with those "outcasts";
their desperation.
their bleak outlook on life, perhaps?
perhaps that is the reason why more and more are self inflicting these days.
maybe they are TRULY the ones in the "right mind".
'cos they know what it means to connect between physical and mental pain.
maybe we are the ones living in the "matrix" that is our lives,
maybe we need to take that trip back to the REAL world.
maybe, just maybe.
i could be wrong;
but there's no harm trying,
RIGHT?

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do

You think you're special
But I know and I know and I know
And we know
That you're not

You're always there to point out
My mistakes
And shove them in my face
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today

"To protect someone special to you"

Just finished the report.
the end of the WHOLE induction package.
i'm glad that's over and done with.
lloking back --always remembering, never regretting

i wonder what it's like to "never regret"
man, that person must be living on cloud 9 everyday;
carefree--free from all the bondages of regret--
i wonder how that feels.
i want to feel that.
i want to live by that everyday.
but..i bet it's humanely impossible.
everyday's a new "regret",
and i must spend the rest of y life wondering how i COULD havemade it "perfect".
ironic, aint it?
TRYING to live evryday to the fullest, but never really reaching there?
every every other adjective pertaining to "good" would be quite redundant, right?
if one chooses to live with regrets, there will never be truly ANY day she'll feel at ease,
or happy.
and nothing would seem "good" anymore, would it?
i wonder.is regret out to destroy us?
take our huamnity and happiness from us?
..or is it just us?
and our preconception to the word "regret"?
does regret mean not getting a piece of homework done?
or just not seeing that person you had meant to see today?
what does "regret" mean?
i believe it varies according to standard.
according to each and everyone's different standards, opinions and justifications.
but one thing still stand..
regret deprives us of happiness.
the happiness we try so hard everyday to derrive from our depressing schedules.
is it really that hard?
or is it all a fellacy?

regret.
i draw a line on this very day;
to eridacate you from my life..
from our lives.
you can take all you want;
but leave us after you do.
dont pollute minds any longer.
what is done is done,
and nothing can be changed.
only you make us THINK it can.

//Bless your sweet mistakes,
That crumble you dowm to your knees,
They brought you to this place,
Changed you by degrees.//

The start of another week of school.
week 3.
people are just starting to get into the groove of things;
less blurr sec 1s,
more studious sec 3s.
that's what i've noticed anyway.
it seems apparent that the whole level's been mugging the whole of the new term.
it's getting quite serious.
it's quite incredulous to think that we're already working our asses off in the THIRD week of school, for crying out loud.
what's gonna happen nearer the EYEs?
the situation would be too horible to picture.

And it seems that bug has hit me, too.
studyinf for tests everyday,
planning a STUDY TIMETABLE, even now!
only brings back bad memories from the past that i tried to erase.
who would've thought our level was capable of this?
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!
i'm sure i wouldnt.
but now it's staring at us in the face;
daring us to take on it's challenge,
set new goals,
soar to higher peaks.
but..
are we ready?
that question often plagues my conscience.
are we REALLy ready?
it's hard to tell..
it's hard to tell..

From a favourite fanfic of mine:
//Bless your sweet mistakes
That crumble you down to your knees
They brought you to this place,
Changing you by degrees
When change was just what you needed
Pop the cork, a champagne glass
Raise to the future, drink to the past
Thank the Lord for the friends He cast
In the play he wrote for you//

i love the new template.
yes, i'm not ready to lose...
to myself,
to my expectations.
and i'm not gonna lose this year.

the song is haruka kanata.
it's the 2nd theme song from naruto.
it RAWKS.
the pic is of sasuke..
the REALLY cool dude from naruto.
he doesnt wanna lose too.
guess that's something we have in common...

Second week back in school...
and it's hectic already.

OAC preparations on the morning --tiring, but fun.makes PE lessons worth looking forward to.being an instructor; when's too fierce, and when's being too lenient?
Lessons during the day --fun.LOADS of things to learn, memorize and study.i wonder how ANY senior could have survived sec3 life.then again, learning in itslef is a fun and never-ending process..what more could i bargain for?..it's the studying and 5 tests in a week that are bothering me.to make it worse?no MYEs.wonderful.now the EYEs will be even more stressful and even MORE packed with regurgitated facts.it's gonna be a long year.

i recall last year..i wasnt doing much of anything last yr during this time.i was probably sleeping my afternoons away..or reading my fanfics..now..it's a different story.it's amazing what one year can do to you.it must be even tougher for the sec4s.
it's gonna be tough this yr..VERY tough.OAC,PC duties and work commitments?..how to juggle them all effectively?..i need to learn.i REALLY need to learn.respect is automatically given to any being that can manage all that PLUS cca.

Better get back to working/studying/revising/doing my homework.whatever you call it..it's STILL hard.

i wonder if you still remember me..
it seems like you dont.sad.
but i've moved on..
and so have you.
just wanted to wish you a happy birthday..
where ever you are...

The induction ceremony was today.and..
EVERYTHING ROCKED!
we received so much good feed back and the parents were so pleased and the pupils did everything on cue and EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT!
it was TRULY amazing to see the product of ur hardwork unfold NICELY in front of ur eyes..cliche..but SO TRUE!!..it was TRULY amazing..
no more sms!haha!
i wanna thank..
EVERYBODY WHO HELPED OUT!!
THANKS YOU GUYS!!WE WOULD NEVER W\HAVE SURVIVED WITHOUT YOU..MOST OF THE CREDIT SHOULD GO TO YOU GUYS!!!!(:
and to BELLE!
who stood by me through sms and ALL the rehearsals..despte ** ****..dont worry belle..it'll work out!!(: wo yong yuan zhi chi ni!(:

very happy..but tired.(:
today rocked.

|||CLASSIFIED|||
Induction cermony's tomorow.hope eveything goes well.i NEED everything to go well.belle and i do..whatever it takes to preserve our sanity.
SMS.
that dreaded word.
i bet he doesnt know how much shit she's put us through.
i bet he doesnt know how much belle put into this PROPOSAL!
i bet he doesnt know that we ALSO feel pain if the ceremony cocks up!
it's so blatant for EVERYONE to see, YET only HE cant seem to see it.
so what if we disappointed by "making you do alot for this ceremony"?
yes, i admit we disappointed a little..but we didnt ask you to solve it FOR us, did we?!
we wanted OUR hard work to be the thing that puts the rest through THIS ceremony!
but did we have that priviledge?that right?
i'm sorry to say..no.
if you wanna impose, do it all the way.dont make us bleed out our souls just to cook up some proposal and *** ***** that will eventually be chucked aside as shit anyway.
dont do that to us.dont to that to the leaders.every soon, we'll all have enough.
let's see what anyone can do then.
i thought you were diplomatic and just..
guess appearances can be deceiving.
hang in there belle, only one more day to go.
and just ignore tomorrow.let it sail past ur ears.
i already know what's gonna be said anyway.

to someone:
u cant expect me to change overnight.i am who i am.there's nothing else to me.if you dont like it, i wont force you to stay.leave if you need to.but remember that i didnt mean some things i said..and i'll try.but i cant assure you anything.call me whatever you want.i dont really care..i'm different from when you first met me.take it or leave it.

Looking back --always remembering, never regretting.that's how i wanna live my life.too bad though..life isnt what all we want, is it?keh.nothng can ever go as perfectly planned.life is an illusive thing; can philosophers truly grasp its concept or TRUE meaning?i dont think so..it's objective.no point trying to define it, or understand it.it's just there..a cause for joy?a cause for pain?..you decide.i decide.it's not easy, especially when they're so many expectations from so many people..disappointment everyday..WASTED effort..and people who think they're doing somthing to help..yet are not.i hate those people.i hate those things.but what can we do?nothing.simply nothing.only acceptance of the fact and the willingness to move on are all the options we have left available.whatever it is..i know one man cant change overnight.i know that there's much more to a person, than meets the eye.disappointing, rewarding?CHOOSE.decide.i dont have the authority to impose on that decision.take it or leave it.see if i care.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES AND DREAMS COME TRUE IN THE NEW YEAR.
MAY YOU ACHIEVE ALL YOU WANNA ACHIEVE THIS YEAR.
MOST OF ALL..MAY YOU RISE AGAIN WHEN YOU FACE ADVERSITY.
GOD BLESS.

FINALLY get to update my blog.phew.
OK!
yesterday was the MOST fun i had in A WHILE.
haha..
the day started off with the pcs having a LAST meeeting concerning the ORIENTATION!!haha..am SUPER excited!!..cant wait top go!!haha..the i/cs did a GREAT job!!(: (:
THEn..we went to...
MACRITCHIE!!
to see which paths we were supposed to take with our classes.1 pupil leader to 10 NEW sec 1s..hope they listen :p
it was fun lah..the walking and the nARROW bridges..or the forested area..heehee.PRECISELY why i cant wait!!
haha..to add on to that..anticipation..i'm doing SENTRY DUTY!!!WHEEEE~!with lilin, michelle and yi ling.3.33am haunted hour eh?..we'll see whether cedar is as haunted as it's made out to be. ;)
haha..THEN..the sec 2 pcs went to..
SEOUL GARDEN!!!
haha..that was FUN.
the cooking was FUN.haha..the passing of food..the EATING and the GARLIC chicken!!!!!!(: (: or zl's "swashi".haha..the funnest was the part where we all had to eat DISGUSTING food..till ALL of us kena
haha..i have to admit that the first batch was the WORST.poor michelle!!!sigh..but you still managed to finish!!yay!!haha..
i got the 2nd batch of food..ate with sining.we hadd..
SYRUP, DRAGON FRUIT, ORANGES AND FRIES!
it wasnt that bad lah..just tasted a bit..wierd.haha..but it was fun..
REALLY fun!!(:
haha..then the 3rd batch got the BEST of all the batches.al we gave them was that green chendol thing, syrup, WATERMELON, CORN and nuts.we were VERY kind compared to the 1st batch.heehee.
haha..had fun..then all of us went to kino where there were INUYASHA AND POT AND NARUTO manga a PLENTY!!!
then we all left at 9.15 and went home.
haha..very satisfying day!!(: we must do it more often..
oh and..

WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS??
haha..(:

HOPE THE INDUCTION WILL BE OK!!
NOVABELLE RAWKS!!
haha..
OFF TO SCHOOL~!

Induction proposal's a MESS!!!
dunno where to get seating plan!!
STILL havent called the psls and pcs as to whether they can make it!!
still havent settled the briefing dates!!
MESS MESS MESS!!
whoops..better buck up!!..cannot flop!!

``PRAYING EVERYBODY TURNS UP.

Inuyasha today: kikyou kisses inuyasha.i hate kikyou.KICK-HER.

looking forward to the orientation camp~

AND SO I'M BACK FROM OUTER SPACE!!!!
hahahahahahahaha..cant sstop laughing..and i dont know why.anybody know eher my tablets arE??hmmmm..?I KNOW!!SOMEONE TOOK IT!!SOME ONE ETERNALLY EVIL LIKE..NARAKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*gasp*!!..how could he have entered our time??!LILIN!!!!!WE NEED TO FIND THE SACRED JEWEL AND GIVE IT BACK TO KAGGS!!!!
hahahahahahahhahaha..wheee!!!!!!!!!hahahaha..
*slaps self*
ok.i'm back!!
first things first.
AHH!!!1I'M FREAKING SCARED BOUT THE BLOODY INTERVIEW!!!
enough said.
secondly..
WHEN WILL INUYASHA 4TH BOX COME OUT??!!!I'M DYING FROM INUYASHA DEPRIVATION!!!
AND I WANNA WATCH THE 2ND MOVIE SO BADLY!!!!!!!!!
sessy RAWKS.[he is NOT gay]
thirdly.
whee!!!!i'm looking forward to the SEC 1 REGISTRATION!!!..heehee..good job, laogong + ming jin!!(:(: heehee.and ORIENTATION CAMP!!!!!!duh.haha..mira and dhilshad did a good job too..heehee!!
fourthly.
HOW THE CRAP ARE WE GOING TO FIND A SEETING PLAN FOR THE HALL???!!*faints*
enough said.
fifth.
I HAVENT FINISHED MY HOMEOWRK.AND THAT MAJORLY SUCKS!!!!!WTF!!!
i suck.enough said.

ok.this is really bad..despite ALL the DEPRESSING STUFF i've typed..i STILL cant stop laughing.stupid naruto!!!!!!..so freaking funny!!hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha
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ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah
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hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah
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ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhah
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah
ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah
ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha..
ok i feel better.OFF TO WORK!!!!BAKAA!!!!!!!!!haha..felt like saying that.aaand..MISS CHEE RAWKS!!!even though she gives the strangest homework..-_-

TO ALL THOSE WHO BELIVED IN ME:
LILIN
THANKS SO MUCH FOR BELIEVING IN ME!!!you dont know how much those smses meant to me!!..thanks So much girl!!..haha..YOU kicked ass man.thanks for having so much faith; YOU RAWK. sure you know it ;) and THANKS AGAIN for the help with the INDUCTION!!(: (:

GRACE/DADDY
THANKS DADDY!!!..haha..i gues ur daughter DID make it huh?..and fine.you're ALWAYS right.(:

JAZZY/UNCLE
thanks darling for staying positive even though i was DYING on the inside.thanks for always keeping my hopes up.and thanks for staying opyimistic even though things didnt look too good for US.(: u rawk too darling!!

EVELYN AND THE REST OF HAWK
THANKS FOR BEING PART OF HAWK AND GAONIZING OVER THIS ISSUE WTH ME.YOU ALL RAWK.AND YOU ALL KNOW IT!!..THANKS FOR MAKING LTC SO FUN!!(: i miss you guys..(:

and now?..things are looking up..(: God's blessing.thanks, God,.you rawk the MOST.(:

FINALLY FOUND THE LYRICS!!

I cant help myself.Nobody's Angel.
You smile a lot
It makes me wonder what your thinking of
cuz...
baby, you're always on my mind
and right now i want you with me
here by my side
with me till the end of time

I just can't help myself i'm falling in love with you.
(love, love)
It doesnt matter what you say and what you do
(no matter what you say, no matter what you do)
just give me a chance
and i know i'll make you understand why...
I just cant help myself i'm falling in love with you.

Don't know if I should tell the world just how I'm feeling yeah
cuz...
I wanna be sure you feel the same
The more that i think about it
you need to know
there's no other way
no,no

I just can't help myself i'm falling in love with you.
(love, love)
It doesnt matter what you say and what you do
(no matter what you say, no matter what you do)
just give me a chance
and i know i'll make you understand why...
I just cant help myself i'm falling in love with you.

You must have been sent...
you must have been sent from heaven above
you're everything i've ever dreamed of
too good to be true
no no i dont think so..

baby, no.

Just give me a chance
and i know i'll make you understand why...
I just cant help myself i'm falling in love with you.

I think i've fallen in love...

I just can't help myself i'm falling in love with you.
(love, love)
It doesnt matter what you say and what you do
(no matter what you say, no matter what you do)
just give me a chance
and i know i'll make you understand why...
I just cant help myself i'm falling in love with you.

I think i've fallen in love,
i think i've fallen in love,
i think i've falen in love...
yeah, yeah...


this song rawks.inuyasha and kagome forever.
wish there was a way i could get the video on my blog..

Just came back froma "family" chalet.
dead tired.
only slept for 1hr plus.
the stay was VERY impromptu.
my sis and i only got to know round 10pm,
ironically afetr i had come offline to do homework.
sigh..[p.s. did ya get any hw, lilin?..haha]
soo..
i brought my english there in hope i could get some homework done.
it turned out that i'd brought the wrong hw..
cos i was in the mood to do chi, not eng.
sigh..
oh well.
we didnt do anything majorly fun or wild..but i guess it just adds to the Christmas '04 memories.
now..
back to work!!

what i have left to do:
1.Translation of background info on pilates and the great wall of China, du hou gan on one of the Christmas charity events, implications of the university course fee-hike and the translation of the article on the inclusion of chinese and japanese in american exams.
2.The english compre and summary.[someone please save me..i cant understand what the FREAKING passage is talking about!!]

17days to go..
and i STILL cant wake up before 8.

i'm doomed.

Work's been VERY slow these past few days.
ASIDE from my daily dose of fanfics..
i seem to be BUSIER these few days.
sigh..
wish my maid could cut SHORT her holiday and come back NOW!!
i know..selfish and pointless ambitions on my part.
oh well..
awaiting the day of my maid's return.~

AHH!!!
why wont dechantal update faster??
i'm DYING from suspense already.
i'm SURE the 2wk delay is MORE than enough to kill her faithful readers.
Flowers in the Snow
i wonder how rin will react to sessy's..
affections.
then again..she wont have to decide for a while.
just hope inuyasha and sessy manage to defeat that bakayarou, naraku.
and..
the ANTI-KIKYO CAMPIAGN STILL STANDS!!
after the exploration of her "roots"..
i believe the resolution to rid the world of kikyo supporters has GREATLY strengthened..
and THEREFORE..we must SEIZE this GOLDEN opportunity and gather MORE anti-kikyo supporters and hopefully..finally..fulfil our cause!!..haha.

anti-kikyo all the way!!
SESSHOMARU RAWKS!!

--Change of background music.instead of "My will", it's "Fukai Mori".BOTH are equally nice. [p.s. lilin, this is the NEW ending song to for inuyasha..with SESSY of all characters as the main..character.haha.but i tink "My will" mayb nicer]

All those out there who havent watched inuyasha before..you're missing out on something REALLY nice.
the characters rawk.
the plot rawks.
the FANFICS rawk.
the ONLY thing that DOESN'T is that pathetic excuse for a miko,
who's bent on annihilating EX lover.

ahh.inu and his complicated lovers.
SESSHOMARU'S SO MUCH BETTER.
i love sessy/fluffy..(:
and he's NOT gay!!!

I wonder what life was like before my fanfics...
cant imagine life WITHOUT them.
yes..they're throwing me off my work schedule..
but they provide a sanctury;
for me to run if and when i wanna get away from the real world.
BUT..
who can evade the real world forever?
..and now,i must again return to it.
to finish my HOLIDAY homework,
finish reading the text books for next yr,
read freaking CHINESE newpapers [in an attempt to improve my chinese],
and mentally gear myself up fir next yr.

the holidays are ending...
FAST.
thee next 21 days are not gonna be easy.
not easy at all..

Another great fic by DeChantal.
i just cant imagine where she gets all her great ideas from.
and her language usage..i just so "wow".
she's a true inspiration to all CHINESE
--[presumtiously] well versed in both the english and chinese languages.
ahhh...
i got hooked to The Blood of The Dragon.
my all time favourite fanfic.
then it was Once Upon a Thyme.
that fic was so sweet!!
and now she strikes again!
this time with an inuysha fic.
SESSY/RIN.
the best sess/rin fic EVER!!
y'all should read it.
it's seriously nice...

the choice it yours...
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2085012/1/

[p.s. Lilin, this one has 245 reviews..including mine(: heehee.see if you like it ;) oh and u shld check out her draco/hermione fics.VERY kawaii!!]

>>i got all these alien songs from music videos on inuyasha
really obsessed. ;)
AND..this song will really describe inuyasha at the end of the series i think..
after getting over kikyo..and falling in love with kagome[she's beoming such a great miko and archer!!!]
Staind.So Far Away.
This is my life
It's not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me 'cause I
I must be sleeping

Now that we're here, it's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes, one life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we're here, it's so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
And I can forgive
And I'm not ashamed to be
The Person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing okay
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
Somebody shake me 'cause I
I must be sleeping

Now that we're here, it's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes, one life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we're here, it's so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive
And I'm not ashamed to be
The Person that I am today

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

Now that we're here, it's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes, one life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we're here, it's so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
And I can forgive
And I'm not ashamed to be
The Person that I am today

It's my life.Bon Jovi.
This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

Chorus:
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive

Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

My blog's FINALLY UP again!!!
dunno what happened man..
but i'm glad i found this very NICE template.
heehee..
inuyasha rawks!!!

is it kagome or kikyo?

Just came back from LTC.
i thought i'd hate it there.
i thought i'd be too strict.
i thought i'd die atthe camp.
But life's ironic..aint it?

I loved camp.

and now?
i miss camp so badly.
i wish we were getting scolded by chief again..
i wish we had one more fire drill..
or we could do belaying again..
or BEST still!
one more campfire..one more night walk.
i miss camp.

hawk rawked so bad.
so so so bad.
even though we were the group with the least number of people..
that didnt stop us from getting SECOND..initially first..
that didnt cause our flag to stand throughout the whole camp..
that didnt stop us from cheering our cheers..
no matter how soft or how lame they were.[p.s.i loved hawk bangs]
even with xiuqi's busted ankle..thatdidnt stop her from RUNNING with us..
so what if we got scolded a few times for not being enthu enough?
..i think we really did it..
oh and..
"WE LOVE, WE LOVE, WE LOVE CLEANING AND
WE LOVE, WE LOVE, WE LOVE SWEAPING AND
WE LOVE, WE LOVE, WE LOVE WIPING
..toooooooooooooo..
we love dorm cleaning and..
it is quite alright we love dorm cleaning..
sweeping from left to right..
we love dorm cleaning..
wiping from here to there"
genius, xiuqi and yong en.

or...

"HAWKS HAVE BEEN HUNGRY FOR THE WHOLE OF THE DAYYYYY..
CHICKEN FISH AND RICE..
ALL ARE VERY NICE..
HAKUNA MATATA!!!"
haha..nice one y'all..

or...

"PUMP, PUMP, PUMP IT UP
PUMP THAT HAWK SPIRIT UP!!
KEEP, KEPP, KEEP IT UP
KEEP THAT HAWK SPIRIT UP!!
SHOUT, SHOUT, SHOUT IT OUT
SHOUT THAT HAWK SPIRIT OUT..
YEAAAAA..HAWK!!"

I MISS OUR CHEERS.even the lame meal ones.
hahaha..me miss camp.):

but not to forget...
"FATHER ABRAHAM HAS SEVEN CHILDREN,
SVEN CHILDREN HAS FATHER ABRAHAM,
SOME OF THEM WERE TALL
AND SOME OF THEM WERE SHORT
BUT NONE OF THEM WAS RIGHT!!!!"
haha..xiuqi really makes a good father abraham..no?
haha..i also miss this PURRRFECT entertainment for the leaders who liked shaking butts.
still beaten by gryphon's dynamite though..sighh.
haha..

hawk.
one group.
one very samll group.
but we made it.
we really made it, u guys.
we really mdae it.

but also thanks to gryphon and indigo who always were stuck to our gp..
and even when joined with u guys..i still had fun..(:
chika cha chika cha chika cha cha cha

to the rest of the groups..
Y'ALL RAWK MAN
thanks for cheering hawk on during the campfire..
miss it already..
no WONDER "linger"'s such a **SADD**[right, xiuqi?] song.):
ahh well..will update more when i'm not so tired.
night y'all..
get some GOOD sleep on nice BEDS...

INUYASHA IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST ANIME ON THE PLANET.
enough said.
i just hope he chooses kagome in the end..not the dead **FORMER** love who's AWFULLY evil and scheming thought he manages NOT to see it..
kagome's so unselfish and thoughtful..dunno why he could've chosen EVIL kikyo over her in the first place.):

i love INUYASHA.
SESSHOMARU rawks my world too.

i want to change the world...

and making it into sg finals are..
sylvester and taufik.
enough said.

Today was the PREFECTS' CAMP!!!!whooooo!!!..fun sia!!..even though it was only for one day.): ..if only it was a stay-overnight camp..would've been..INTERESTING.

OUR GROUP:POTASSIUM HOLMES
OUR GROUP MEMBERS:
ETHELYN (LEADER)
AMELIA (ASST. LEADER)
JENNIFER
AMIRA
ANITA
VERENA
FACILITATOR:SHALINI

in the morning:
we played bonding games..haha.
lame and tiring..but fun..
we had double wacko 1st..wahlao.
call here, call there..call until ALL of us got mixed up..sigh.
then i kena whacker once..sigh..
pai sei..cant rmb all the names..
heehee.
then we also played some "locating the same breed of animal" game..
where ur group can only communicate using the sounds made by ur allocated animal.
haha..i was an oinker.go figure.
then we played jacob's ladder..
FUN!!!..but..rubbish when we had to shake our butts at the end of the "ladder"
..veri funny afer a while cos ppl didnt really do it after a while..
so janica had to call a few ppl back to shake again..
haha.
we also played H2O!!!!
haha..my partners always kena touched!!..
so i ran so many times..sigh..
but zl oso kena quite abit.
then thre was one when evelyn was chasing achu and both of them were screaming.
haha.
ohh yah!!..
we also had this game where you had to chase/run away from some one..
until you/the person u were chasing stands in front of the "fixed pts"
then the last person would get chased.
very confusing at first..but fun later..
haha..that one i KNOW zl kena alot of times..
heheh.cant rmb anymore games at this pt in time..

anwyay.we had "dancing" next.
we were supposed to come up with dance steps to the chorus of "overprotected"[ in out groups.
our group arh..
hehehe..only amelia knew how to dance and what to do..
so after showing the parts we were taught..
we just let her handle the chorus.
mean yes..but we REALLY didnt know wad to do!!..heehee.

then was..
SHARING TIME.
we were taken to com lab 4 to have a "sharing session"
mainly intro to the whole thing lah..
and suggestions and compulsory bonding sessions..
hahaha..th sec 2s are going to..
SEOUL GARDEN!!..heehee.
thot the secret handshake was cute too..heh.
haha.

LUNCH!!!!!!!
hahah..they should REALLY change the PLASTIC spoons man!!
..haha..and the chicken was a KILLER!!!!!!!!!
it killed TWO of my spoons!!!!!!
EVEEEEEEL chicken..
hahahahaha..but lunch was funny lah..
and k. holmes RAWKS!(:

then the AMAZING RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wahalao.that was shit fun..
[sorry bout the long delay]
..dont wanna continue this post.heh..so all i can say is dat the amazing race was SUPER fun..
despite the rain etc..
the exco rawks!!(:
haha..

when we got back out gp told so many ghost stories that ALL of us got spooked.
ETHELYN was SO freaky..she was like "what if u say the wrong thing and it comes..."..and she made this scary gesture thing that freaked all of us and made us scream..
goodness.
it was SO super fun!!..despite the being freaked etc..
I LOVE POTASSIUM HOLMES!!
our gp rawkss..heehee.

by the end of the whole thing..i ddint wanna go home..but all good things have to end..
so i guess this too had to end.
not gonna forget the experience..ever.
haha..it was just fun..definitely going into my archive of good camp experiences..(:
that's the end of this post.sorry it took so long(:

okie dokie.
being sick sucks.
let's have a run down on what i've been tortured with shall we?
1.fever
2.BAD sore throat (initially couldnt talk properly or do anything w/o my throat hurting, and now it's just swallowing anything)
3.runny/clogged up nose
may not seem like much..but combined together..
they make u feel like u're half dead.
SUPERB.
what i've missed in the passed 6 days i've been sick?
1.the LTC refresher course with hawk
2.the prefect's campfire item meeting
3.doing my fu*king homework..such a terrible failure right?
4.FOOOOD!!!..i cant TASTE!!!..the AGONY!!!
and i'm gonna miss the food at later's bbq.awesome.
and i was looking forward to a nice chance to be honey/bunny girl again..):
ahh well.



i hate being sick.

AHHH..just came back from jyc 2004.IT RAWKED.IT SO RAWKED!!first things first..my group was AWESOME.even the guys.I MISS JYC!!..freaking sad dat this is our last yr.):

Day 1
arrived in church at 1215.
my group: 4.
my group members:
Deborah Ng & Teo Guo Nian(leaders), Rachael Hong(YAY!!), Cheryl Seow, Grace GOH, Samuel Chua, Ryan Tan, Jeremy Yong, Darren Chia
ok..didnt take an immediate liking to my gp.
chosing secret pals..and mine was...?
jansen lee.
AWESOME.
hated the camp at that pt in time.
didnt tink i was gonna haf fun..oh well.
first activity: ice breakers.ookkkayyy..
loads of lame stuff..but ok.
ultimate ice breaker: we had different disablitites but had to lead our whole gp to a certain spot near camp.
i was mute and one-legged.
some were TOTALLY PARALYZED and blind, some deaf and blind, etc.
but my group SO RAWKED that activity.
we reached there first.WITH our whole gp there..
so what if gp3 got there b4 us?they didnt haf their whole gp there.HA!!
ok..then bathing time.CHIONG FOR THE TOILETS!!
haha..the toilets were super crowded and flooded.
still had some time to play ASSHOLE daidi b4 that tho.fun.
dinner was ok..the VEGGIE RAWKED.dunno y the rest didnt wanna eat the celery.sigh..
then was worship and pastor vincent's terstimony on how he became a Christian.very inspiring.
okk..then we had Qt after that..then SLEEP.

In between day 1 & 2
at precisely 1230 in the morning..
the very NICE CAMP COM
sounded the bloody siren..waking EVERYBODY up.
we assembled in the bball court and waited for instructions.
we got SCOLDED for not sleeping..
which was UNTRUE cos i got 10mins sleep b4 being woken up.
everybody was PISSED.cos the whole thing was PISIFYING.
but some sissified/p6s were scared.cant blame them tho.
we were given glow sticks to wear on our wrists and 2 torch lights per groups..then..
we were THROWN into sembawang park at 1AM IN THE FREAKINH MORNING for a TREASURE HUNT.
ok..my group..or the guys..were seriously pissified..so we were "united" in that sense.
wahlao.the stupid hunt was so lame..walk from E to D to A to G to K..or some shit like that..all to find wad?
lame clues like.."scared?" "beware" "danger!!"
wahlao.lame, sweaty and pissifying..but rewarding when we came in FIRST!!(: (:
actually..most of the credit had to go to our facilitators..samuel cheam and petrina..cos they gave us MAJOR hints..
so..it was WAAY easy for us to find all the clues..even though they were FREAKING difficult to find.
when we got back to camp..the camp com came up with dis
potiankak idea..which involved jasmine looking like a..potiankak..
and with her..DAHLING male cow holding some ghost thing..with everybody screaming..
i tink our gp didnt scream..cos it was..LAME.
and so..the first day came to pass..with us STINKY, SWEATY and TIRED.

Day 2
woke up at 8.
ate breakfast..which was umm..sweet.
then got briefed for..
THE AMAZING RACE.
SO SUPER FUNN!!!
even though we had to run around s'pore like fools.

1st pit stop: sembawang -> orchard.
find the mail box thingy, then receive instructions again.
the control station uncle was SO cute..he was like
"wo bu ke yi gao so ni men..but.."
then he pinted to the left and up.haha..
our group then RAN up to find raveen and timothy (camp com)..
they told us to find store 01-06 in wisma..which was the very hard to fing..
NOKIA SHOP.okaay.

2nd pit stop: orchard -> kranji
wahlao.the train ride was SO SUPER LONG.14 stops.1/2 on the train.
we got bonding time on the train..
while solving a set of 20 LAME qns.
i STILL tink jeremy was acting out of a guilty conscience when he said he wasnt gay..cos rachael and i werent even talking bout him being gay.oh well..
oh and just our luck to haf BOTH photographers as our facilitators.
anyway..we went to the s'pore turf club where we had to memorize a few paragraphs on some person..
then carrying 2 eggs in the middle of a disc supported by 10 strings..
we had toi rmb our paragraphs while ensuring that the eggs dont drop.
sigh..we dropped an egg..i admit..but our memorizing was QUITE flawless..i STILL rmb my paragraph.
"the highlight of his career was in 1989 when he put s'pore on the world map of racing by beating an international field in the Hong Kong Invitation Cup"..HAH!!..havent lost my memory yet!!

3rd pit stop: kranji -> choa chu kang
BIG mix up..
so instead of taking the LRT..
all we had to do was haf a nice lunch and walk next door to the macs for our next task.
ok..so it was a quiz.funny..but tough one.
so..all of us whipped out our phones and started dialling friends, parents and the like..
thanks to ACHU for the ans to deutschland!!!haha..
ok..with the task completed..we had to..
MALUATE OURSELVES BY CHEERING OUR GP CHEER IN FRONT OF A SALE.
how SO VERY nice.
good thing we did it as a gp..

4th pit stop: choa chu kang -> ang mo kio
we were given a VERY ROUGH map to our next pit stop.
so...
we had to walk in like a thousand and one circles b4 we realized we were looking at the WRONG side of the station.
sigh..but in the end..we found our pit stop..aaand..
COMPLETED THE FREAKING TREASURE HUNT IN THE FASTEST TIME!!
..of 7mins plus..when our time limit was 20mins.HAH!!group four SO rawks.
ok..so we HAPPILY made our way back to the station..only to find when we were entering the station..that cheryl had lost her ez link crad..so she and guo liang(facilitator) back-trekked, found the card..
and IN TIME for our train ride.
we were so LUCKY man..cos our trains and everything came in like 2 mins and stuff..VERY lucky.

5th pit stop: ang mo kio -> yishun
ok..that was not bad..all we had to do was to find some tom and stephanie shop in northpint..
get a really FUNNY ice baby blue cap and we were done!!!
haha..GROUP FOUR RAWKS MAN!!!!!!!!
haha..the train ride was so gay.
we ended up talking bout the 9 o'clock show on channel 8..the "champion"..
then jeremy..oh gay one..did an UNCANNY yilin impersonation.
if that was not enough..
he put his face through some bar thingys and was only inches away from guo nian's face.."threatening" to kiss the dude.
gross and SO VERY gay.
darren was just laughing.along with ryan.

ok..so that was the amazing race!!!and guess wad?we came in FIRST AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
haha..so we had like 2hrs to bathe..and there was ABSOLUTELY no queue for the toilets!!
SO SHUANG!!!!
haha..then we went back to our dorms to play a few rounds of daidi b4 dinner
dinner was again..VERY NICE.
but i STILL couldnt understand y everyone else didnt like celery!!
so in the end i finished mine and rachael's celery..nice.
darren's excuse for not eating?
too tired.siiigh..
worship was ok lah..just that mos of us were SO SLEEPY!!
and the lighting was dimm..the music was slow..
it was SHIT HARD not to fall asleep.
pastor joel came to tell us bout how outer appearances didnt matter and how the inside was more important..true.
so after all that..we did QT again..and dis time..
fell right asleep..
onli to wake up 1/2 later to screaming.sigh..
guys and the ppl who ARE easily scared are an AWESOME combi.
any how..rachael and i fell asleep again..not as easily as the previous time.

Day 3
woke up at 630.
assembled in the bball court for morning PT..
inclusive of stretching, 50 jumping jacks, 15 push ups..aand.
a run.
so were went for breakfast sweaty and stinky.for the 2nd time in a row.
breakfast was again..sweet.
then we had worship and another msg from pastor joel showing how God had a purpose for each and everyone of our lives.again..inspiring.
we watch dis video clip of the show "simon birch" and how his small size managed to save another boy.touching..cos he died in the end.
anyway..we had group/playing bridge time after dat..then LUNCH!!
it was almost the same as dinner and i STILL cant understand y all the veggie was left ):
anyway..we had some personal admin time where most of us used to pack up and play MORE daidi..befor going down for..
THE GAMES.
the games were HORRIBLE, but FUN.
blow by blow run down:

1st station:
we had to compete against gp 3..and lost miserably..but NEVERMIND.
ok..we had to hold hands while walking across to separate benches approximately 1m apart.the VERY NICE camp com splashed water on us and the benches..how NICE.
then..using only our mouths..pick up pieces of fruit FLOATING in a tray of water.ok..with that done..
we had to use only our faces to find SWEETS stuck in a tray full of FLOUR.
ok..a little maths. flour + water = starch.
wont u agree the camp com's nice?

2nd station:
we competed against group 6..i tink..
1st task: using only our mouths..we were supposed to pass a banana from one end of our line to the other.
just my luck i was at the end of the row with jeremy next to me.go figure.
anyway..we finished that first..with the bigger piece of banana i tink.ha..we rawk..anyway u put it..(:
then since jeremy and i volunteered..we had to kneel on a mat..were corinne(camp com) lowered a piece of carrot for the 2 of us to finish.
felt like a dog man..ok..so since jeremy got the carrot first..he bit off dis lonf and thing piece..leaving me TUGGING on the remaining piece of carrot..like a dog..before biting off a short and fat chunk.
ok..we finished that first..again..
3rd task: using our hands and mouths we were supposed to finish half a watermelon.wonderful..goodness knows how dirty our hands were.anyway..we just kept stuffing chunks of watermelon in2 our mouths and we WON..again!!haha..

3rd station:
ohh goodness.this was so gross.
we were supposed to label ourselves do,re,mi,fa,so,la,ti,do
and memorize the order in which the notes appeared.
and our gp sucked at this station cos we couldnt coordinate and i coulnt rmb my la note and where it was supposed to be.
so..we had to eat gross stuff as punishment.
1st gross thing: lady's finger, with lemon juice, pepper, food colouring and a whole lot of shit.
2nd gross thing: jam with pepper, vinegar and some other shit.
3rd gross thing: ok..this is the GROSSEST of the lot. raw egg with food colouring and chinchalak.gross.alot of us nearly vomitted.

4th station:
we were supposed to be immates in a jail with the wardens helping us to break free..which meant.obstacle course.
we had to like crawk under benches comando style..slide across tables..pull ourselves across benches..and AGAIN..dig our faces in flour to eat sweets.sigh..
if that was not enough..they had banana skins strewn across the florr..hoses to blast u with and colgate and flour all over the place.
the colgate was the WORST cos it made ur skin burn after that..any how..
we couldnt complete that station..cos the 2nd part was so hard!!it was like a mine field..where u were supposed to find a path to walk on without being spashed with STARCHY water by jasmine or raj(camp commandant)..
sigh..took so shiity long that we lost.sigh.

5th station:
competition with gp2 i tink..
we were supposed to use..only our knees..to transfer blobs of colgate from one knee to another..with the gp with the most amt of colgate collected winning.
the twist was that everyone was arranged in guy-girl-guy-girl sequence.
okaay.
i was standing in between jeremy and darren.
ok..so..we were sliding our already wet legs across each other's ones to the the most amt of toothpaste across.
good thing jeremy caught me in time..or i WOULD haf fallen off the stupid bench.
was tinking how horny it would be if this wasnt a game..haha.
anyway.we won..WHOHOO!!..again..(:

okaay..so we had a flour fight after the 5th station cos there was so much time left.jeremy attcked me with the stupid blasted flour first..then i retaliated with a fistful of flour in his face.and this went on for the both of us..in the end..
he had one thumb left of starch..and me one arm left..
when i told him that..leon came over..and i started laughing..cos true towad he said..he had one face left..so super funny. SUPER funny.only..i didnt realize how funny it was until i saw his face again.hahahahahaha..

okay..so 2nd part of the day.we went so sembawang park..with the water bombs we managed to fill in 10 MISERABLE mins..and were told of our next "task".we were supposed to grab a rugby ball from the camp com..and the team which catches it wins 100pts.our gp was pretty desperate for it..since we THOUGHT we were SERIOUSLY lagging bhind.BUT..we never got it cos of ppl like han wei, jansen and lionel.haha..the last ball was so funny..han wei charged at samuel cheam(camp com) saying that he was..his..brought the dude down and the ball rolled in front of yvette..letting her grab the ball and win the 100pts.AWESOME.sigh..that was..SUPER lame.
AHA!2nd part.the team which collects the MOST rubbish wins 50pts.okaay..so our team STILL had a fighting chance at this, esp since roy surrendered his rubbish to us.but AGAIN..we lost.cos RUBEN had GREAT foresight and started picking up rubbish SUPER early.oh well..

and so..we made our way back to camp..for BATH TIME!!..whoa.did we ALL need a bloody bath.good thing i was 1st one in..felt so shit gunky.
dineer!!all i can rmb was that it rawked and that the veg was SUPER nice.funniest part of dinner was when darren said he was "too tired" to eat.haha..dunno y i found that funny..but it was.(:
COP!!..THE SONGS RAWKKED MAN!!!..all the songs.and now i've got all of then stuck in my head.the drums rawkked the most..thanks to our gp leader aka deborah.ahh well.
had supper after that.was dreading it cos..we had to reveal our FREAKING secret pals.
am not gonna describe the terribly MALUATING and STUPID thing that happened when jansen went up..but all i could say was that lionel was DEFINTELY sweeter than jansen.ugh.
ANYWAY.rach and i pretty much stayed up the whole night..either playing daidi or bridge or sthg.were SUPER bored.nothing to do!!..plus zarra and jia wen slept veri early so NO company.sighhh.in the end, we had to stone in our dorms or walked ard AIMLESSLY.
as our LAST resort, we went up to the 4th storey to listen to ghost stories.didnt really get spooked..esp since dahling rachael ALREADY watched ouija board.ahh well..another way to kill time.
the most ke xio thing tho..was that we fell asleep at 6.45, after watching HALF a sunrise.we woke up at 7.45 and BARELY managed to rushed for breakfast the next day.

Day 4
had the same SWEET breakfast.
just that dis time..we were all super sleepy or reluctant to go.
BIG CLEAN UP afterwards.our group..the GREAT group 4..haha..had to go and clean up the guys dorms.
a tad disgusting..what with socks and umm..THINGS..everywhere.
but we still had fun..esp when grace found the ice blue baby cap and ryan wore it..super super funny.
folded so many STINKY bedsheets and pillow cases.eeck.but we still enjoyed that.
so saad..after that was the debrief with the prize giving ceremony thingy.
best camper was..[drumroll]
jonathan pang.
best camp-ress was..[LOUDER drumroll]
ZARRA!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!
best group was..[LOUDEST drumroll]
GROUP FOUR!!!!!!!!!
man..we were SO shocked.we just stared for a few moments b4 we started cheering and stuff..GROUP FOUR RAWKKKKKSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love gp 4~!!!!!!!!!!
haha..anyway..we had photo taking after that..and before we knew it..we were going back to church.
so saad..gonna miss camo and group 4.already am..):

ahh..even though i wasnt looking forward to the camp at first..the camp rawkked BIG time overall..not only just the fun..but the spiritual highs too.hope it all lasts.never gonna forget this camp!!..afterall..it IS our last yr in jyc.sighhh..missing camp already...

i'm so happy.
THANK GOD FOR ALL HIS MIRACLES.
i got trip science..
and i'm on top of the WHOLE bloody world.
congrats to everyone who got their choices!!
..i'm sure most of you did..(:

Your Beauty lies
in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl next
door. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actually
very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that
lets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may come
and go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simple
things and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things most
consider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendly
and probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,
but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-rounded
individual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug it
off because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some Things
That Represent You:
Element: Earth, Light
Animal: Cat
Color: Pinks, Blues, Browns
Song: Girl Next Door by Pilot
Expression: Simple Smile
Gemstone: Alexandrite
Mythological Creature: Fox, Hobbit
Sign: Tauros
Planet: Jupiter
Hair Color: Light Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Quote: "To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Amazing Pictures And Ten Detailed Results::.. All Fixed!
brought to you by Quizilla

i just read jazzy's blog.her msgs were SO super sweet.felt really inspired to do the same.so here goes nothing...

Jazzy:
heya..thot it was SUPER sweet what u did for all of us.
will never forget those eyes.
will never forget ur china accent thingy.
will never forget the sarcasm.
will never forget the times when u were there for me.
will never the times when we went to each other's house.
will never forget the snake fight u had with my sis.
will never forget u..love ya LOADS and miss u to bits!!
we WILL stay as close next yr.never doubt it.

Zi:
hey darling step mummy!!!!ok let's c...
will never forget that smile, and how it just seems to make u wanna smile too.
will never forget how u took control of the survey section of our IPW and how u RAWKED that section.
will never forget the studying for chinese we always seemed to be doing..but look zi!!it paid off!!(:
will never forget ur positive attitude towards everything, even when things seemed hopeless.
will never forget the valuable advice u gave regarding some issues that i couldnt seem to solve myself.
will never forget the times when we bitched together and how u would just listen to my crap bout some ppl.
thank you for EVERYTHING dearie, will NEVER forget you!!(:

Aud:
haha..will never forget the DOGGIE!!!!!
the spasticness,
the pervertedness,
the cute air bout u,
ur drawings and how u SINGLE HANDEDLY saved our art sale,
ur design for our IPW logo(: ,
everything about u!!i dont wanna c you go..it's just sad man..just so sad.

Grace:
HEyyy daddy!!i will never forget..
the time when u stayed up till 4 to accompany me studying my science,
the times when u said it was possible for me to get some studying done, when i thot i couldnt,
for discussing liu xin hua yuan and the like,
for the times when we used to sompare what we got done in the category of revision, etc..
ur retardedness and how funny ur laughter is.
how SERIOUS u can become when u mean business..ie the enterprise challenge.great job by the way...
how horrible u are to mummy!!!haha..just kidding..but i WILL neevr forget how u and mummy ALWAYS seem to be "fighting"
i DUH..definitely wont forget u.and i haf a feeling u made it..i tink u made it to trip sci.it all paid off rite?haha..will miss ya LOADS.

sarah:
hey mummy!!ok..mummy is..
super crappy.
super loud.
loVES hugs and sign of umm..affection.
super crazy.
super funny when she quarrels with daddy.
very encouraging..esp during the getting back papers part ;) thanks.
very..different.
can never forget you.WILL never forget you and WILL miss u always.muacks!!<- sign of affection.

Vivian:
hey vi.i know u're probably never gonna read this BUT..i haf ALOT of things to thank u for.
1.for always reminding me what a child of God REALLY is.
2.how u could ALWAYS be counted on for an encouraging word or a prayer.
3.how u always seemt o be on tops of things even when the world seemed to be crashing down on the rest of us.
4.how u managed to calm me down. despite all the anger and vulgarities i had.
5.for always understanding even though i didnt haf to the words to convey how i felt.
6.for always being vi.the avid turtle lurrver and the serious, but SOMETIMES crappy person u are.
i WILL never forget you.hope we always remain good friends and no matter what probelms you haf, ALWAY, always remember that God is guiding you where ever u go..and hey.if everything DOES crash down on u..i'm onli a sms away...

Dolly:
hello step aunty!!i never did get to know u well enough, did i?
but..thank you..
for eing crappy.
for being dolly.
for being encouraging when i hit a pitfall in my academic life.
for being dolly aka the maid in denial and aka the cloned sheep.
for being a reliable tresurer.
for making my life easier whn it came to money.
for making those 3 AWESOME cheesecakes for the chalet!!!goodness.thay rawked man.haha..thank you dolly for being YOU.i will never forget the crappy one, cos u only add on to the list of crappt ppl in my life (: thanks.

Evelyn:
regardless of whether u read this or not..this is what i'm gonna remember you for:
1.ur smatrty pants-ness.
2.ur astounding intelligence
3.ur calm nature despite all stuations.
4.ur creativity.
5.ur take charge attitude when it came to handling things.
6.the MANY sacrfices u had to make for our class.
7.the way u study.OH MY GOODNESS.it's amazing.mind-blowing..whatever good adjectives come into mind.
8.the way u handle the hawk dance.man, u didnt know how many bloody times i gave up on the bloody dance.but hey..look at it now ;) we'll do great tomorrow..(:

Ash:
HEy sista!!haha..ash is one hardworking asss.i will never forget..
1.how much u mugged.
2.how many assessment bks u had.
3.how much u pushed urself for the exams.
4.ur crappiness.
5.the way u ticked rachel off and how she ticked u off in return.
6.how funny u 2 are.
7.how we used to go home last time, and how we crapped all the way.
wont forget ya ash..lova ya always!!(:

Rachel:
heyy..i haf so many thins to say.umm..i love ya because:
1.rachel rawks. <- ring any bells
2.ure always so sure of what u were going to do.
3.ure always to freaking confident. esp when talking to saphire or jia ying etc.
4.u were and still are..my CCA BUDDY!!!haha..i rmbed last yr when i wanted to change cca and gym closed doen..and how we made a deal to join the same cca as the other.(: or sthg like that.
5.how comforting u were during the checking of papers.i will NEVER forget how u told me everything was in God's hands and how everything was going to be alright.i could NEVER forget how i felt that time.no words to describe it.
6.u ALWAYS checked my papers first and were encouraging no matter what.you know what?ure my LUCKY charm..cos all..or almost all..of the papers u checked..were..umm..good!!(: thanks darling for always checking those papers for me and thank you for always being there for me.
7.ure so CRAPPY.
8.ure so funny!!!!!!!!!!goodness.dunno how many times i've collapsed into fits of laughter on the way home.
9.for being to sarcastic.it's funny.it really is.
10.for being my going home buddy!!!(:
even though we probably arent gonna be in the same class next yr..i will ALWAYS remember the times we had and the times we sent homw together.i will NEVER EVER forget you..rachel judiTH emiechel.will never forget you..

Achu:
it's funny how u can say so many things, but u never know what to write when ure thanking some one for the things they do/did.
u know, i really dont need to write this thank you/goodbye note.co u ALREADY know what i'm gonna write.cos i'm NEVER gonna forget all our conversations..R-rated or not.hahaha.i will never forget AHEM too..and move on achu.there's no future in the past..well.that's all i haf to say.and oh..do treasure the cranes..there're only 50 there.use them wisely ;)

Zhen Luan:
Goodness.another one i dont know what to say for.
i really wont be able to forget you.
haha.i rmb during the bloody exam period when i aske du to buy all those sci assessments..and they DID pay off, no?haha.
i will ALWAYS rmb the times we studied together..be it in sch till the bell SANG..or in orchard library where u couldnt read the "tower b" sign.i will always rmb those times.
i will always rmb the late nights u spent up, either studying or talking to AHEM.and of COURSE, u dont expect me to forget AHEM, do u?
i will always rmb the time when we went bowling and swimming in the sea together.we had fun.u ALWAYS will haf.
i will never forget ur family.dunno y..but i will ALWAYS be praying for ya no matter what.
i will never forget how u freaking slept like a vampire and how funny u looked.the look was PRICELESS.
i will also never forget how u told on me regarding AHEMMMM and how mr toh got to know of it too.well done darling.i will punish u some other time.
i will also never forget how stressed u could and can get.and how i would and will get freaked out by how stressed u were/are.let go when u need to..there's no point holding everything inside.i dont know how u've did it for so long.
i know this will NEVER be our goodbye.i wont let it be.and after all..i will always be seeing u in the board where u will "lose all ur freedom", wont i?haha..chill..and we BOTH will lose our freedom and look BLOODY wierd..TOGETHER.haha..

that's all i haf to say.i'm gonna remember =2/m '04 forever..i'm gonna remember the HOTfamily forever.i'm gonna miss you all forever..

okok!!see achu???i'm POSTING.being a good cousin..or wadever.
um..ok.
I MISS THE HOTFAMILY SO DESPERATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MISS OUR CLASS!!!!!!!

My LTC campfire dance thing's kinda screwed.
HALF the gp didnt turn up for the practise.
the steps arent eevn finalized yet.
have less than 2 days to settle everyhting.
so, SO screwed.
getting fed up.
VERY fed up..
..cos *I* cant even rmb the freaking dance steps!!!!
and the world should come crashing down on me..right about..
..NOW.

i'm gonna miss 2m '04.
gonna miss the people.
gonna miss the times we had as a class;
pissing teachers off,
complaining about hw,
complaining bout almost everything.
gonna miss the things we did together;
like jogging,
the C&T enterprise challenge (superb job done by daddy aka grace),
the INSANE EXAM MUGGING,
the chalet,
the stuff that we werent supposed to be doing.
i'm gonna miss you guys.

To my HOTfamily.
I'm gonna miss y'all more than any other clique in the class (duh)
i remember we were formed in seoul garden after the x-country '04
had a blast during all the times we spent together.
had so much fun, so much laughter.
it's hard for me to forget.
so much enouragement during the exma period,
felt so touched.
dun wanna leave u guys.
we're all going separate ways next yr..
and i REALLY dun wanna part.
it's a pity we got close too late,
or we might have been even tighter, closer.

To aud, aka sashimi the HOTfamily doggie.
i'm gonna miss you, girl.
all your dirrty-mindedness,
that cuuuuuuuuuute laughter,
your amusement over such trivial issues,
your arty-fartiness,
your musical talent,
your bubbly nature.
i'm gonna miss audrie tan ying yan(G; haha)
aud, dont forget us.
we'll never forget you.
keep us updated on your SURELY long string of guys there in the international sch.
hope we'll remain friends forever. (:
(sorry for being VERY cliche)

missing you guys already...
):

i've had enough.
enough of disappointment and self pity.
enough of waiting hopelessly.
enough of hope.

thank you stress ball...

Layla Kaylif. Shakespeare in Love.
He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A sinister romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

Teachin' torches to burn bright
She's hanging on the cheek of night
A snowy dove trooping with crows
He never saw true beauty till tonight

CHORUS:
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A glittery romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

His bounty's boundless like the sea
His love is endless, just as deep
The more he gives the more he has
`Cause both of them are truly infinite

CHORUS:
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

That's Shakespeare in love

A sinister romantic
He's on his knees before he's on his feet

CHORUS:
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

That's Shakespeare in love

just read another fanfic..
the first one in a VERY long time of almost a year...
and you know what's the best part?
it rawked.
it wasn't too unlikely;
it was sweet;
it was romantic;
and the best part of it all?
the hero and heroine get together..
...after vanguishing evil that is.

don't we all wish for that kind of ending?
too bad it rarely happens to untalented commoners or dreamers.

check it out.
The Cabin
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1261300/1/

PS.if you're not into langthy fanfics..then dont read.this is 427pgs long in microsoft word..

Life sucks without my handphone...
and to all those who dont't know and think i'm ignoring you...
i'm sorry...
but my handphone's REALLY taking a nice holiday in achu's bag...

LIBERATED.
and it feels so good...

but it's only freedom till monday...

Exams are ending.
Freedom is near.

i hope i can make it.
i hate myself.
pressure's building.
can i make it?
should i make it?

i dont know.

i'm scared.
i'm angry.
i'm not stressed enough.

the air smells...funny.and i dont like it.
it smells so familiar..smells like fear..anxiety..
i remembers this smell from a few years back.
i was terrified then, cant remember of what.
i was so scared, so alone, so helples...
and all i could do was breathe in the fresh air,
of how it smelled after it rained..
and wish that everything would just go away..
that everything would just fade into oblivion..
that i would be saved.

though years have passed,
though i'm different...
the air still smells the same.
and now, more than ever, i wish for the same thing...

Alanis morisette.hands clean~
If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years i would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And i have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and i like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégand one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and i think i like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And i have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish i could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done
Up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm
Body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh i don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

i hate maths.and because of maths, i'm saying goodbye to triple science.
dont do anything stupid?..easier said than done, dear.

i should be studying.
i haven't been able to do much of that lately.
sigh.
i should plan my study timetable.
for next week at least.
so pressurized by rani.
i must be disciplined.
i must keep to the schedule.
i cannot slack.
i hope it's enough.
i hope i'm not too late.

...i hope i can get in.

i can.
i must.
i will.

9 days to english EYE.
20 days to MT EYE.
24 days to science and history.
27 days to geog.
28 days to MATHS.
29 days to lit.

29 days to freedom...

jaz: hu in the world will blog bout this type of stuff? *shocks*

let me complete my revision
PLEASE
let me get good grades
PLEASE
let me go into triple science
PLEASE
let me be happy...

Please...

ahh.the last post was rubbish..just needed to let off some steam..betrayal doesnt feel good..sorri if i offended anyone!!

going back to studying.let's see..the past few days have been stupidly slack.and i'm WAY behind schedule now..gotta catch up real quick.dun wanna fail again.just too terrible a feeling.hope i can finish my study timetable..or am i being too amibitious?stupid, maybe?or...

know what?i'm already thinking bout what to do after the exam when they havent even began yet..i suck man.need to find more motivition..a ALOT more discipline and a heck of a lot more pressure..i wondering why i'm not dead yet?..my life and academic lives are SO screwed.what have i gotten myself into??

hiya people..miss you guys!!!!!!3days to sch opening..to seeing you guys and to EARING MY NOODLES SWIMMING IN CHILLI!!!..haha.c y'all.(:

Why.
Just tell me why.
I feel betrayed.
Offended.
I thought you were "nice"
a "friend"...
or was it all a farce?
Screw you.
Go bitch all you want.
See if i care.

Can somebody take the knife out of my back?

I got a second wake up call today.
indirectly concerning my studies.
I need to revive my faith.
I need to study for God.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. --Philippians 4:13


Revival.

Everyone's telling me not to get stressed.
The cold truth is..i'm not.and that's where i have my problem.
how can i get stressed?
i don't know anymore, i just don't know.

You know, sometimes, alot of times,i plan useless timetables for myslef, hoping it'll help me break my descipline drought.
But you know what?
They're USELESS.
Like me.
Know why?
'cause i let myself get carried away while taking my breaks.
But i cant seem to stop that tendancy.
I know my problem, yet why cant i remedy it?
'cause i lack the descipline.
i lack the perseverance.
i lack the determination.

I hate myself.

i hate stress.
i hate studies.
i hate myself.



when is this going to end?

thanks guys.
hi dolly, but you know what?
i've failed.
in each and every one of my aspirations,
i've failed.
no longer the old me.
just the plain useless new me.
and you know what?
I HATE IT.


It should just end now.
cutting...

i hate life so bad.wanna just end it..now.acid, or jump??..still weighing which one's more painful.

my gardes are all f*cking falling.ALL my subjects.my bloody chinese, MATHS, science, geog, EVEN BLOODY ENGLISH.what am i to f*cking do?!!!so shit.if this keeps up, i can say bye to triple science FOREVER.maybe even cedar.HOW?!!!death?pain?..sounds good.life so f*cking sucks..i hate every bit of it.every bit.

where's siew hwee?? we need to get that talking done.and FAST.

so screwed..

The HSL dinner RAWKED!!!!!!!!u hear????RAWKED!!!!!!!it was so super fun..it would be one of the few days i wont forget..I MISS THE DINNER!!!!!!haha..

First, my family and i reached late.we're always late.oh well..haha..then we saw zi, aud, vi and zi yan.then we went to meet ain, achu, rachel and jazzy at the foyer..then we went up to the hall.haha..so fun!!!!!!!!!!!the activities and food all..really.then got this song thing..pai sei..went up so many times.oh well..haha.then my mummy won he best catwalk, then got more interactive games where we all stood up and cheered REALLY loudly.so FUN!!!!!(:

ya lah..sad dat we had to go home.sigh..mayb i'll come back for next yr!!(:

AAAAAAAAAAH.how to study?i wan my discipline back.DISCIPLINE..oh DISCIPLINE!!!!!COME BACK!!!!!

Michelle Branch::All you wanted
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes I'd take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
Oh, yeah

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone.

i'm gonna fail.i hate maths.

Finally updating..after a LONG time.guess that was kinda obvious..haha.

Let's see what's goin on in my life:
1.exams + tests + not enough hard work = i'm dead.
perfect equation don't ya think?
2.i'm slacking too much.
3.my results are not good enough.
4.i'm not gonna get into triple science.DIE.
5.had a great national day..with jasmine, rach, tiffany and zarra..no thanks to a certain idiot.hah..nice jokes, cow.."wanna take you to a gay bar.."
6.stress is building up and i'm not freaking studying.i'm SO dead..sigh.

And that's what been happening in about half a month.oh yea..plus we've switched trs back again..kinda hard to adjust..hmmm.i just hope, wish and pray i can buck up before all the tests and exams.must persevere!!..

..i pray i can.