forever.vertical horizon.
Take these roses all from me
Let me live, let me be
For a little while
Let my eyes,
See everything and nothing in their time
I do not mind

Who've guess I'd learn
To let the walls around me burn
Light up the hillside
My words, I ate them for so long and nothing changed
It was just the same

And I don't know if you see me
But I can tell you your face is clear
I will see you...

Forever
Forever
I will see you
Forever
Forever

Call me close once again
Call me teacher, call me friend
Just like the first time
Call my name, it echos around me in this room
Its all you

I don't know if you hear me there
But it's dark so no one cares
I will hear you...

Forever
Forever
I will hear you
Forever
Forever

I wanted you to be everything to me
Now I've got to learn to carry on
I know I cannot hide this emptiness inside
But nothing is the same since you've gone

Send me letters from above
Send me strength, send me love
Such sweet love
Sing me songs that echo in my head and in my heart
That's where you are

And I don't know if you feel me here
I can tell you one thing that's clear
I will feel you...

Forever
Forever
I will feel you
Forever
Forever
I will hear you
Forever
Forever
I will see you
Forever
Forever

Take these roses all from me
Let me live, let me be

school's starting tomorrow.
part of me's ready;
ready for new challenges.
ready for the work.
ready for the stress.
part of me's not ready;
not ready for handling the stress.
not ready for the business.
not ready for the unknown.
but i have no choice.
reality's forcing me back into its shackles.
after escaping for a month.
i don't know what lies ahead.
and i'm scared.
VERY scared.
but above all,
i hope things remain the same.
relationships.
friendships.
semblance of things essentially;
cos i dont think i can handle anything deeper than that.

fear of the unknown.
that's what most people fear.
every person is afraid;
no matter how miniscule,
the fear is there.
and until you master it,
it will continue to lurk
and eat your insides.
fuelled on your innermost fears.
relishing in your agony when you break and crumble.
it's all a game;
all one big game
just have to roll the dice,
hopw for the best,
and continue playing.
even when you don't know what your opponents are going to do.

i am scared.
but i cannot afford to be.
i'll take things as they come.
cross the bridge when i come to it.
i can only hope..
my resolution stays,
and my determination doesn't falter.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
--the middle.jimmy eat world.

school's starting in 2 days.
i don't feel there's much of a difference though.
running around throughout the whole of the holidays?
doing piles and piles of work?
wishing we could just go back to school?
i say, going back to school was definitely a better option.
the oly plus point about this break
is that we get to wake up late..
ON SOME DAYS.
sigh.to dread or anticipate?
i wonder.

books.
i need to read more.
fanfics just ain't enough anymore.

life is boring.
it's monotonous.
but i guess there are simple pleasure we can enjoy.
maybe i've noticed them now,
cos i'm finally starting to see that life ain't that bad.
i gave up something, this holiday.
and it's making me a whole lot happier.
now i know what's really important to me;
and i'm gonna cling on to those things,
even if it costs me my sanity.

Everything has a beginning and end.
i'm just thankful,
i've finally found the end,
and new beginnings.

thanks goodness it's all over.
work again.
i hate this cycle.
i wish it could stop.

JOHONG OUTING.
watched "alot like love".
so rocked.
had a popcorn fight during the movie.
siong and soon are so gonna get it next time.
elvira and kaili wee..cute..haha(:
siong was really cold..which was wierd.
belle was..preoccupied?
soon was dusting off popcorn and trying to preserve his 'popcorn ammo'.
took neoprints.
kaili and i rushed off for tuition.
it was fun.
can't wait till our next outing.
or for the combined outing.. ;)

~SLC '2005: AEIQ; quotient without remainder.

so.this is what it's been reduced to.
a game of finger pointing.
no one knew who was the cause.
maybe there was no cause.
maybe it was all a game.
a game fate was playing on us.
i retract because that's the only thing i do.
you disappear and blame me for it,
because..
it truly is my fault.
haha.what a fool i've been.
to trust anyone.
to give anyone time.
it's all a game.
it's all a screwed up game
i'm sorry i had to do it to you.
i'm sorry you had to go through all this shit.
i know it's not your fault.
it's mine.
so, i'm sorry.
there's no way i can heal the pain and confusion just by saying that.
but i think this has been a long journey.
i dont't know if i can continue.
i liked you.
loved you like a brother.
i don't know what happened.
please.don't blame me.
i don't know what happened.
i guess it's really just me.
judge me now, for who i am.
cos this is truly me.
and i hate to say this..
but.
i told you so.
you stubbornly refused to believe me.
i know you dont like who you see,
because no one does.
so please,
i beg of you.
kill me.
forget me.
and never regret doing either.

but, just in case you're interested..
i don't know why this is happening.
i don't know what i'm doing.
but i am anyway.
imagine living a life where you fight yourself;
you wish your better half could triumph..
but she never does.
and in your darkest moments,
it's always her who takes over.
she pushes everyone away.
builds that wall.
do i really want it?
i refuse to believe anybody does.
even I don't want it!
..but all these will seem like excuses to you, no?
PITIFUL excuses.
so fine.
i'll shut myslef up.
lock myself, and throw away the fu*king key.
cos i dont need it.
no one can unlock me.
i used to wish for the person who could.
now i dont.
cos i know it's impossible.

KILL ME.
MURDER ME.
I DESERVE IT.

"I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You should've never come around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cuz you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life"
--scars.papa roach.

i guess this is what you need to say to me.
message received.
transmission stopped.

Corrinne May.Save Me.
I drift I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like putty in your hands

I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a rollercoaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who I am
Just take my hand and

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you

I had a dream that I
Was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid

Oh 'cause you
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting

Before I met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought I had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you

AEIQ.
will never forget.

one more week.
work.
scandals.
all part of the life.

bruise in,
bruise out,
nurse the bleeding.

Love me.Collin Raye
I read a note my grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said boy you might not understand
But a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to
And live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were
Supposed to meet instead
I found this letter and this is what it said

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

I read those words just hours before
My grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church
When me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry
All my 15 years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

Between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

>>one of the songs played during AEIQ's campfire without fire, but candles.the second last song, before graduation.

EVERYONE FROM
AEIQ: QUOTIENT WITHOUT REMAINDER
THE STUDENTS LEADERS CONVENTION 2005,
PLEASE VISIT THIS SITE:
http://s7.invisionfree.com/slc05aeiq

KEEP IN TOUCH.

AEIQ sick.
i miss everything,
everyone.

SLC '05 ROCKED.
never regret a minute, a second i spent there.
AEIQ. Quotient without remainder.
congratulations org com,
i think all of us got that concept.
the "campfire" without fire, but candles
was one of the best things that i've been through.
the fellowship, between STRANGERS?
not so..
now, all friends.
Group C aka JOHONG.
we'll keep in contact, guys.

MOTHER MARTINA.
FATHER MOSES.
shuyi aka sushi.
elvira.
ning xin.
kai li.
feng soon.
wee siong.
dominic.
i'll miss you guys too.

PENGUINS.
POLAR BEARS.
one banana, two banana, three banana, four..

i.hate.life.
i.hate.myself.
end.of.story.








some.one.please.kill.me.

down below.
fun.
excitement.
food.
laughter.
up here.
darkness.
bladed.
blood.
i'm done.

i was joking.
she didn't know.
she doesn't care.
and know what?
i guess i don't anymore.

and i'm not resorting to drastic measures anymore.
good riddance.

i wonder what the world sees me as.
so many views.
so many perceptions.
i wonder who sees me the truest?
who sees me as the person i am before i sleep?
the person i am when i'm not in certain company?
the person i am when i'm comfortable?
i wonder who sees those things.
i wonder who cares.
it must be a great and wonderful thing to have some one care so much.
it must feel joyous, liberating.
i wonder how it feels like to be at total ease with someone, knowing that they expect nothing out of you, as you would them
i wonder how such knowledge would sink in.
i wonder how that would feel.

i am but a fake.
a phony.
i say it now, but no one will ever believe.
ebcause i deceive.
and no one can handle deceit.
it is a knife, laced with poison.
and as the say,
"once bitten, twice shy"
no one sets themselves up for deceit twice.
my lies and my truths have mingled.
they are a great tapestry of who i am,
dark clours woven into the light.
and i don't know who i am anymore.
is there beauty in such a creation?
is there worth in its existance?
traders and merchants would settle for cloths of a single shade.
and so, it continues to be hung on display,
waiting to be taken, but never being sold.
till the day, the store owner decides to hide its ugliness.
a cloth of dull decor is placed above it,
to forever hide the mystery and complication that no one wished to see.
everybody is a piece of art, they say.
but words mean nothing if they are said out of courtesy.
it is an expression of oneself.
it takes few to interpret the seemingly ugly;
but there are some, which are beyond recognition.
and there, they will hang their head in eternal shame;
hating themselves for being something no one else understans.
we ourselves are all enigmas.
it's just ironic how some are easier to decode.

to feel--
is to know with the head,
but move with the heart.
it is to know and acknowledge,
but pity and sympatize.
it is to know,
but act differently for reasons you cant explain.
it is facts translated into sensations.
it is words translated into awareness.
it is heart, and not mind.

i breathe.
i wont stop.
i see.
i wont stop.
i interpret.
i wont stop.
i feel.
..or do i?

A crack in the seemless wall bled light, in the opaque darkness.It seeped and flowed freely from the crack, to form a singular ray in front of its projector.Light got everywhere; through every crack, seem and area.It saw everything.

The beings in the darkness cowered in fear.This was different; it heralded change.And change was something they shunned; something they detested; something they feared.The grappled to grasp the concept.They knew this was weakness; no, no one can ever know about this fear, about this curiousity.Donning facades of fake bravery, they took a step closer to the unmoving ray.

step.pause.step.pause.

Each step brought with is a heightened sense of awareness, a higher intensity of anticipation.With each step, discoveries were made.They were beginning to discover what their world really looked like-- what they were stepping on, what they touched, what they felt everyday.They were beginning to see how everyone else was like --their features, their expression, their reactions.They were also beginning to discover how they looked like-- physically and psycologically.And, they were petrified.They shook with fear on the inside, but forced themselves to remain calm on the outside.Bit by bit, their facades were beginning to fall.

step.pause.step.pause.

One more step for the truth.One more step to revelation.One more step to figuring it all out.One more step to the world.It was awaiting them, like the darkness behind them.Their past, their present, their future; all rested on this one moment of truth.One more step to..liberation?They didn't know.Looking back on their comfort zone of darkness, they sighed.It was now, or never.

step.pause.gasp.

scream.