MMH, sschool's speeding up again. It's kinda sad, though. Everyone's too busy to go back to how life was like during the first 3 months.

I remember how those were like, though. Friday class outings, shameless sweet eating in class, lotsa laughing... Heh. Those were fun. They only come once, I guess. Now, it's more work for everyone; be it actually understanding lecs, or doing tutorials. It's kinda sad. Perhaps, it's impossible to get everything back again, but something similar. Wishful thinking? I really don't know any more.

I wanted to stay so badly.
Now, I can't wait to leave.
The irony doesn't escape me, even if other, perhaps more important, things do.

I don't understad what there is to blog about any more.
Life goes on, people rarely read others' blogs to keep track of theirs, since they're too busy with their own lives.
We're all living such different lives, having such diverse experiences.
Can we relate, at all, any more?

I really miss how life was like in sec 4, even though it was THE year for us.
haha, but I guess everyone misses their sec sch.
None of us can help missing the familiarity; it just gets overwhelming sometimes, especially when things don't seem to be going your way. Or going the way we want them to go.

Training tomorrow. Again.

Good luck, sec 4s(: JIAYOU for your MYEs.
Don't let yourselves down!

Ahhh. So, school's been hecitc.
So, everything's not ideal
So, everyone's not as free.
But, that's life, for now.
What else can we ask for?

I guess this week's been a stark contrast to the my angst-ridden week a while ago.
It's gotten better, I guess?
My choic; now, I've gotta live with it.
And I'll learn. I think it really ISifferent now; I can't and won't go back to sec 3 again.
It's not gonna happen cos I'M not gonna let it.
Wonder how long my resolve will last for...

Things to say and things not to say;
struggling between the two; dare we go either way?

I miss Cedar, still.
Everything from the CACAT 4/I clique, to the OALS, to the PEECEEs... Everything, everyone. It's kinda hard seeing how it was so comfortable then and it's still getting TO comfortable for now. It won't ever be the same, that's for sure; and, I guess, that's why we miss it the most.

AFter the campfire, we've got nothing much to go back to Cedar for any more...
It's kinda heart-breaking when there's finality in an end.

Yesterday was a bad and good day all at once.
It's one thing to be in Cedar again, happy... But it's another thing altogether being in Cedar, knowing it's the last time you're gonna get reults there and getting shitty results to remember that experince by.
Well done, Shermaine Lim.
Congrats to those who did well(: Y'all deserve it.
Congrats to the rest of 4I who did remarkably well(: An average of 7.9's just... CRAZY.
Congrats to those in 07S77 who got their various As and Bs for HIGHER chinese. (I'M AN INDEPENDENT MEMBER OF THE C CLUB!)
Congrats to Peiyu for getting STRAIGHT A1s.

Sorry I pangseh-ed you, Sining/Mingjin/Jessica/Shuhwee/Wanjing/Grace.

And also, thank you.
To those who gave hugs freely, to those who comforted.
But, espcially to the guys of 07S77. For coming down, for making my laugh and for making me remember that there's still hope yet.

Take comfort, for all those who didn't do as well.
It'll be okay(: I hope.
The good Lord is fair and merciful.

It's not the end yet.
Prayerfully not, ever.

It's been a good week(:
It's bene spent with great company, doing things that will definitely be remembered for a long time to come.
So, if the Good Lord should decide to send me elsewhere, I know I would've lived like I wanted to, created the impact I wanted to. And I would know that I've finally done somethign right. And nothing in the world can beat that feeling.
After all's been laughed at, talked about and what not, I realise that there really isn't any running from your past; it'll catch up one day. We decide to do things, usually knowing full well the backlash of our actions. What we want versus what it'll cost us to get what we want; how much more will we give up?
Some things end; nothing is forever. So, everything we embark on, we know will end right from the start. Losing, letting go; things that we've all gotta do. A matter of time and patience, healing a broken ego, soul... Heart.
Some people walk out on our lives, a blatant reminder that not many wish to witness our lives; yet, we hope for people who will any way. So, does it mattr then if they leave us for a while or forever, if all we want are people to remember who we were and we stood for?
Hmmm. I don't know; I miss some things, some people.
The laughs. The talks. The trust.
No turning back now, so good luck.
Forgetting's easiest. Can you?

How have you been doing?
Just something I've been meaning to ask.
Ohwell. OAC 07's coming isn't it?
Remember kitchen 06?
Good luck to all involved(:

Looking ahead; so SS(x
But something we've gotta live by(:

I spent the whole afternoon with JAZZY.

And I was reminded of how much I miss Cedar. ESPCIALLY ALL the cacat things we did, when or not people were looking(x SO many reasons to go back, so many memories to go back for; but somehow, things are different now. SIGH.

To remember the Cedar and Cedarians I know/knew...
I'M UPLOADING THE PICS THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN UPLOADED AT LEAST A YEAR AGO(X





















So, moral of everything... I MISS CEDAR LIKE CRAP! ):

Haha, for those of y'all in those pics...
And even if you're not...
I MISS EVERYONE!

It's been 13 days since 07S77 met for the first time...

I'm finally home from a LONG, LONG day at school. A relatively long week too.
Wednesday - WENT BACK TO CEDAR!(: But again, since our class is SO ENTHU(: , we practised the fac dance AGAIN in our nice air-con classroom(x haha. Not for long though ): I MISS CEDAR! So much about it is changing... It seems like I can't recognise it any more. Aside from the sec 4s of 07, I don't know anything or any one any more, it seems. OHHWELL. At least Evelyn and I got to study in the Family Centre again(: WOOHOO. And we ate outside the canteen! For once in TWO YEARS(x
Thursday - CLASSES ENDED AT THREE x_x Think all of us were half dead by then. Only thing that brightened it up for us was the... APOLLO FACULTY DANCE(x Haha, S77's super ENTHU(: Think all of out class knows the dance, now. WHOO!(: SADLY, I missed the second half (more FUN half) cos I had TOUCH RUG. OHHWELL. It was tougher than previous trainings, I feel. The coach was fierce, for the first time. :s Then, I had to RUSH TO TUITION. I think I stank up the whole room. WHOOOPS(x
Friday - A RELATIVELY SLACK DAY!(: Even though we had GP and BCME. x_x CT session was in the Audi. Royston Tan came down to give a presentation on some Opera thing. It was... Entertaining(x Weixin was being funny at some parts and poor Yiwei was so tired (thatshesleptthroughsomeparts :p). Our class went to an empty classroom, after that to practise the dance. (YES, AGAIN!) It was dancing for a while, then we moved onto some class admin matters that Shiwei very efficiently settled(x HAHA, then we slackked round for a bit more before going down to our class bench to meet up with the rest (if not, majority) of S77(: (i.e. SEAN CHIA, Jared, Yiwei, Huifen, Benedict(x ) THEN, WE DANCED AGAIN!(x Haha, I don't know for how long more our class can be THIS enthu... But, I'm sure enjoying it(x HAHA. Then, after meeting Wenyuan at bout 7plus, we went down to KAP for dinner. MACS!(x Haha, lame games, talking and what not... Then we all went home ): Thank goodness Brandon/Wenyuan/SEAN CHIA stay along the NEL(x Haha. It was a relatively... Fun... Train journey home(: New perceptions, new... Impressions. Haha. I love S77. SERIOUSLY.(:

I can't wait for next week, AGAIN.
It's like, with each new week, a different side of S77 comes to light. And with each new week, we find more grooves to fit into, or create. A new chance, a new phaze... For ourselves. One chance, to make or break.

I hope I stay. I SINCERELY PRAY I STAY.
SO many things I don't wanna leave behind, here.
It's comfortable, in such a quick time. We must've done something right(:
I must've done something right... For once.

HAH. INTO the future; I believe I'll stay.
I REALLY hope I do.

I can't believe I missed THE FACULTY DANCE PRAC.

But, I heard S77 was good(:
I'm so proud to be part of 77. It's really been... An honour(x

YAAY! NOW, more class gatherings, perhaps?(x
BEFORE the tests start coming!

Escapism.
Existential Angst.

Can we take a ride...
Get out of this place, while we still have time?

Sometimes, you don't wanna live NOW.
Maybe, 'last time'; maybe, 'soon'...
Just not NOW.

Back to sqaure one...

ANYWAY!07S77 got a NEW TIMETABLE yesterday! Which included CT, then BREAK(x HAH. It was a pretty slack day for us, yesterday. Plenty of time for class uhh BONDING(x We TREID that over lunch. More emphasis on bonding than, class(x XINXINS!(x Stk, quite mean... Poor people, those two.WHOOPS(x After lunching at the high school, we came back, sat at the amphitheatre and played GAMES. Haha, think it was quite funny; a bunch of soon-to-be 17-year-olds playing HAND games (INTERESTING FORFEITS INCLUDED: 'grinding' the wall, guys's pumping on top of err... One another, etc(x ) and not being able to coordinate properly(x (AHEM! 'clap-clap-WAH-ZAI!(x ) THEN WE PLAYED HIDE-AND-SEEK! I promise; it seemed like we had deprived childhoods or sthg(x HAHA. We played polar bear for a few rounds before going up to the hall to learn APOLLO'S FACULTY DANCE!(x MWAHAHA. I say our class is well... SUPER ENTHU(: And the dance rocks... So, I think we really have a good chance of winning? xP After the ACTUAL dance session, a few of us stayed back to TEACH WEIXIN the dance(x It was quite fun; what with his funny expressions etc(x HAHA. Then, Shiwei, Yiwei (ESPICIALLY) and I played a BIT of bball then we went HOME. To uhh... Collapse in exhaustion(x Haha. I PRACTISED THE DANCE TILL 12 I THINK. Hah.

TODAY!
Nearly fell asleep during BIO tutorial (WHOOPS.), but the rest of the lessons were okay. OHH! We finally took our height and weight! Everyone shrunk by a cm i think ): Ohwell. HAHA. Then, 77 stayed back to practise the dance(x I think we've got preeeeetttyyyy much the whole dance down(x NOW, to show the rest by/on Thursday(x I think I pulled a muscle; MY RIGHT THIGH HURT THROUGHOUT TOUCHRUG. And I don't think I've got the game down yet ): Ohhwell. MORE PRACTISE! Thursday AGAIN... x_x

S77 amuses me to no end sometimes(x I'm waiting to see what else we're capable of(x

Why NOT?

Invisible, yet not.
Perhaps.

When?

It's been an uneventful two days.

And, I'm being stressed by my class. MUGGERS, these people. Or, maybe I've become slack; hmmm... Probably actually. I've never been so unconcerned bout undone homework before. HAHA; ohwell. A new lease of life, a new list of bad habits? I couldn't be sure. I don't even want to know, actually.

There were things being said in anger, in irritation. There were things being said just for the sake of talking. but at the end of the day who suffers for speaking in the first place? Are we as competent in handling ourselves as we think? Or are we secretly afraid of what we might say when we're no longer conscious of what we're saying? Sometimes, it's just better not to know; or to ever find out.

To feel wanted, to belong. It's no longer optional. It's a necessity. Something we crave to stay afloat. The things we do, the parts of ourselves we lose to get what we want... Is it worth it? How much of our lives can we gamble away? OPPORTUNITY COST. Is it worth it to go for the next best alternative, if we could have more in other aspects? What is the opportunity cost of giving ourselves away?

Sometimes, we're better off not knowing certain things.
But, who can stop us from not wanting to know?

Anticipation. Angony.
Do we really know anything?

AFTER A VERY LONG WEEK OF LECTURES AND TUTORIALS, (with many sweets to help us along...)

WE'RE DONE WITH THE FIRST PROPER WEEK OF SCHOOL!(x

The lectures were FAST (PARTIAL FRACTIONS IN ONE LESSON AND BINOMIAL IN BOUT TWO?!), the tutorials were... Fun(x (AHEM, poor poor mdmyeo. Kena dao-ed by all of us. And STILL asking if she's going too slow.SIGH.) And the class was great. I liked the three hour talk in the high school canteen on day one, the crapping before PE on Tuesday, the lunch with a few class people on Wednesday (weixin and his imitation of SOMEONE laughing and xianhuan's apple. GOODNESS. 0.0), the random hanging out at FISHTANK, pulling of hair and poking during lectures/tutorials(x ... And of course, the FIRST OFFICIAL CLASS GATHERING OF 07S77(:

I had a blast; THAT I know(: We arrived at Jared's place with Yiwei's cake at bout 6plus I think. Then, we some of us sat round playing card, while the rest ended up in the play ground nearby(x we TRIED playing bridge but got bored after ONE round and decided to play daidi instead. It was Sean, Andrea, Benedict and Weixin and I AT FIRST; somehow, suring the course of the games, Hongchao joined in and we formed an alliance of sorts(x Sean, Hongchao, Xianhuan VS Weixin, Benedict and I. Hilarious, but brilliant cos we won in the end, with Weixin's ROYAL FLUSH. 0.0 and one insignificant di(x THEN JARED PUT NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM ON!(x Haha, it was quite retarded; we were half-playing half-watching and decided to give up totally(x THEN WE HAD FOOD!(: (After giving up waiting for stragglers like HUIFEN, YIWEI, HUNSHENG, YUEYANG, JIAYUN, XINER and WENYUAN to arrive :p) PIZZA PIZZA AND MORE PIZZA, plus SPEGHETTI(: SOME OF THEM CAN REALLLY EAT 0.0And the convo over dinner was quite funny(x Until someone spit his food out, laughing(x HAHA, pointless, random conversation. VERY nice(:

After that, we went back to watching Night At The Museum... But, halfway through the show, we gave Yiwei her surprise(: We puased the show, switched all the lights off and carried her vcake out, with the rest of the class singing a birthday song for her(: So sweet(: We, of course, had the picture-taking, cake-cutting... Then, cake-smearing. I THINK Yiwei, Huifen, Jared, Shiwei, Weixin and I were the only ones who got smeared ): HAHA. Next birthday... MORE SMEARING. Mwahahah!(x We finished Night at The Museum then played 'I NEVER'. GOODNESS. Ahaha, using POOR Brandon's cookies as the stuff to be eaten, we played said very... General things. Haha, after a while it was gender against gender, so it was pretty pointless and everyone was STUFFED to teh full(x After that, we played... MURDERER. Only, the game ALSO had a rapist(x Haha. The murderer got raped, in quite a few rounds I think(x HAHA. POOR MURDERER. The DETECTIVES also quite blur, sometimes(x STONING, only(x HAHA. (ESPCIALLY ONE WHO STONES WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN(x Tsk. Stones like that even during lectures/BORING tutorials... :p)

After we got bored of murderer, we sat round and TRIED to gossip, but it was sort of pointless. And, I realised that the two people we were talking about really weren't so bad after all. Okay, maybe ONE's not so bad(x Then, gradually, everyone left ): At the end of it, only Wenyuan, Brandon, Jared, Ningxin, Weixin and I were left. It was a weird but very.. Productive... Information exhanging session(x And someone was being VERY emo. SIGH, tsk, these people. Oh well. At least it was nice and we got to know everyone a little better(:

I hoped for something like this. I wished for people like these. And, now, I've found a good mix. I want to stay; but, can I, will WE? It's something I don't want to find out; but, I know we'll have to. And it's coming out so soon... Will we stay on? Time's ticking away; lives are wasting... For the moment. And nothing could be more simplistic.

God will make a way.

Finally, here's a pic of 07S77(: (The one after we did our 'right jerk, left jerk' during the amazing race(x )

And HERE, 21 of us at Jared's place(:
Always.(:

Though we may have had our diffiulties...

I LOVE 07S77!!!!!!

WE WERE ALL SO DAMNED HIGH DURING CAMPFIRE, even though there was no real fire to speak of(x haha. The singing of songs was crazy! At first, all of us were in a circle, then somewhere during the first song we formed like a snake and went round the whole hall(x haha. When 当你孤单你会想起谁 came on, ALL of us stopped and jumoed like mad idiots, screaming like we didn't need our voices the next day(x (Or at least Jia Min and I(x ) HAHA. Then, the snake continued for a bit then S77 went back to our spot, formed a HUGE circle with a few random ppl from other classes and swayed with the music, randomly screaming lyrics, until the end of the song session. Then, MASS DANCE!(x haha. Scarmbled to find partners, and I got paired with Jared, again. HAHA(x IT WAS DAMN FUN. Cos we didn't know what we were doing and were just dancing exaggeratedly and throwing each other around(x haha. APPARENTLY, a photographer weaved between all the couples and took pics of them. I HOPE HE DIDN'T TAKE A PIC OF OUR CLASS!(x haha. THEN WE WENT OUT FOR SUPPER WOTH OUR SENIOR CLASS!(x THAT WAS FUN. Hahahha. FOUR generations of S77 classes... GOSH. It was fun(: And we played stupid games i.e. Jonny Whoosh, the TRAIN game, BANG BANG BANG till we went home(x Reached home at bout 12 and was still high(:

Hahah, I hope lectures/tutorials don't cause us to drift from each other. The class unity, for now, is great(: (I hope I can stay in HC...)

AH-AH-POLLO! AH-AH-POLLO! AH-AH-POLLO!
ARE YOU IN, GO!
AH-AH-POLLO! AH-AH-POLLO! AH-AH-POLLO!
BEAT THE REST YEAH!
AH-AH-POLLO! AH-AH-POLLO! AH-AH-POLLO!
WE'RE THE BEST! WHOO!

ORIENTATION WITH OUR OGs IS OVER!! ):
OHWELL. And I can't believe I'm AT HOME with the BLOODY STOMACH FLU while the rest of the J1s are having fun in their CTs ): Not to mention I won't get to learn the last part of Wild Wild West with the rets of them too ): OHWELL.
Thank God I feel better now. MAYBE I'LL BE ABLE TO GO TO SCHOOL TMR!(: YAY!(: haha.
ORIENTATION WAS GOOD!(:
It started out SLOWLY at first, but picked up in pact toward the end. And after the OG NINETEEN OUTING yesterday, I can't imagine splitting up into different groups. AGAIN. It was fun, with them(: had dinner at cine's Cartel with almost the WHOLE OG(: Then played pool (the girls, obviously, were a bit lost at first(x ), after saying goodbye to LIONEL and LIUQING. Tsk, our other OGL didn't even come. OHWELL!
HAHA, I'm kinda looking forward to the amazing race tmr :p

This is how the NEW YEAR feels like...

AND I'VE FINALLY DECIDED!
I like my new hair!(:

2007's HERE! It'd kinda surereal how it's arrived already...

I can't say 2006 passed as I wanted it to, but it was mostly good; nothing I'd ever change, that is(: Sure, some things said could've been taken back, things done could've been BETTER done, but I guess they don't matter any more(x There's suddenly this feeling of immense optimism bout 07 and the NEW YEAR(x And I can't be more thankful that it's coming at such a good time.

2007's gonna be different for all of us, I think. Moving on and all that. I can't say much bout it too, cos everything's been said. All the 'keep in touch's, 'will miss you!'s; I hope those who've said it will mean it. It's gonna be hectic, crazy and what not, I suspect and it'll definitely be a welcomed comfort to have a constant through it all. Or many constants, preferably(x

God knows what'll happen. I can only commit everything to Him now. My fears, hopes, dreams... All into His hands. I know He'll see them and make everything well at the end of the day. Best author, ever; so, I don't think He'll ruin my life story, unless I ruin it myself(x

BAH. I can't blog any more without becoming just another blog or blogging what it really means to me. SO, I hope everything turns out for the best, like it normally does. hmm, SO MANY THINGS TO REMEMBER THIS YEAR. I guess just a bit bout everything won't hurt?(x

My class 4I, 2007:
CRAZY. haha, the lessons with Khong and Rachelsee SNEEZING, Sumi's weird qns, T-melia's enthusiasm, Sining and Valerie's random bouts of laughter in class(x , Mdm Lum's REIGN OF TERROR (POOR aunty mingjin(x ), Brenda's enthusiasm to get our class to PARTICIPATE!(x , the MUGGING times with jing/daddy/tata/khong/sining/mj or whoever(x haha.I LOVE 4I 2007(x And of course, the CRAZY SMART PPL WHO CAN GET BLOODY GOOD SCORES. (like Khong who gets straight A1s. 0.0 )

Prefects!:
The proposals of last, LAST year, the events we've ushered at, the weird outings after(PP KOPITIAM!(x ), the study sessions with pcs in teh PR(: other schools' invests, OUR INVEST...(x

Leaders 06/Instructors 05:
DAMN, all the CACAT TIMES!(x As in structors 05 --the DANCE practices!(x Belle's house, PPmacs!, morning setups!, OAC 05... Ahaha, DAMN good memories, even now(: We had fun, THAT I can safely say(x As leaders 06 --OAC 06!(x haha, the times when we were slaccking in the kitchen, walking around aimlessly and being retarded, FOURTH NIGHT!(x , thousand-legged worm, etc(x so CACAT, so DAMNED fun(: People and things I REALLY won't forget.

HOTfamily:
ALL THE IMPROMPTU OUTINGS (that Grace, Jazzy and I SOMEHOW had a hand in planning(x ), the BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS (cake smearing, bikini and whatnot(x ), SEOULD GARDEN, the movies, the gatherings at Grace's place... It's been awesome. the gossiping, bitching and all too(x These are people I don't EVER want to forget(:

Church/ JYC comm 05:
I guess we weren't as close... But, it happens I guess. And not doubt that it would, even if it didn't happen last year. I still want stuff to be kept together, I guess. Even if, it's just Rach and I. Everyone's flying off... In their own way.

Hmmm, I guess at the end of it all, I can only hope I won't lose anything I gained in 2006. And all I can TRULY hope for is a HAPPY New Year, in 2007.

So many wishes and dreams yet to come true...