I'm not supposed to be here blogging..
but i just couldn't resist after reading..
SOMETHING.

It's sad how friendships disintegrate with the passing of time.
WHY DO THEY?..i wonder.
is it because one party couldn't care less?
is it because BOTH parties can't be bothered?
especially ones which have lasted so long..
why now, why EVER?
some questions weren't meant to be answered, i guess.
i want so badly to shake those people who couldn't care less;
do they see how much their HURTING their old friends?
unless, of course, they no longer mean anything.
but, i doubt after so long, it wouldn't mean anything to them.
perhaps, they really ARE that heartless.
THEY'VE MOVED ON!
gotten new friends, gotten new BEST friends.
and now, what's to become of the one they 'forgot'?
'old friends are gold' INDEED.
that's quite a DEAD fact now, isn't it?
like rag dolls, we're thrown aside to fester with the RUBBISH.
is THAT what we mean to all those who have 'MOVED ON'?
RUBBISH?!mean to FESTER?!
HAHA.how funny.
i think they've forgotten we're human too.

it's the most un-Godly thing to do,
but HOW I WISH I COULD SEE REVENGE BEING EXACTED.
i wonder what would happen if the tables were turned,
the roles were reversed.
would THEY be saying the same things we are?
would they even CARE?
walk on, always walk on.
walkING on.
it's heart breaking to know, much less FEEL and SEE.
but reality is..
i see more and more people being hurt by these 'OLD FRIENDS'.
to identify or sympathize with?
HAH.such a real concept.such real situations..
yet we've all but forgotten there are other going through the same things.
we think we are ALONE.

that's the saddest thing;
thinking you're ALONE.
cos in truth, we never are.
only, we need to open up out EYES and our HEARTS to see,
to FEEL.
sometimes, wounds heal best when you rub salt into them.
perhaps, we are the salt to each other's wounds;
to pick each other up, reopen the old wounds and walk on..
TOGETHER.

hey pigg, if you ever read this...
you're not alone.
i just wanted you to know that though WE haven't seen you in AGES,
we still MISS YOU, TERRIBLY.
one day, babe..one day.
all three of us will go out again,
like LAST YEAR and laugh ourselves SILLY.
GELARE!and keep all the receipts for a certain SOMEONE to refund us..
haha, or walk around randomly again.
i know we'll never be able to turn back time,
but we can pick up the pieces and form new memories again.
we've never forgotten you, dear.
it took us so long to accept the fact that we didn't see you around any more..
you can ask the BLUR ONE.
countless conversations, countless discussions.
we've NEVER forgotten.

if you can find it in you..
let us back in, darl.

LOVE YOU, DEAR!

"Everyone is changing,
there's no one left that's real;
to make up your own ending,
and let me know just how you feel.
Cause I am lost without you,
I cannot live at all;
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl..."
--puddle of mudd.blurry.

HMMM.school life's speeding up again.
tests, HOMEWORK, revision..
THE MID YEAR EXAMS.
that VERY thought is depressing.
and it isn't comforting to know that it's going to be
ESPCIALLY TOUGH.
then again, better now then during the Os i guess.
the self EXPECTAIONS are suffocating,
the stress is building.
it's a wonder the busier people haven't exploded.

WHY were we CURSED with such ********??
take it in stride? RIGHT.

FRIENDSHIP.
brings the greatest pleasures and the deepest pains.
the ULTIMATE double-edged sword.
one minute you're high, the next, you've hit rock bottom.
you'll never know; you could never guess.
it's disturbing to a certain extent,
but sucess comes to those who risk.
applies to every aspect of life, i guess.
we take a chance with certain people,
hoping that they would take that same chance with us.

sometimes, it ends badle, and people get hurt.
most choose to leave it and move one,
others cannot leave.
it's most heart breaking to know that they WILL themselves not to leave.
is it delusion to think that some situations are salvagable?
is it stupidty to wait for oppotunity to walk past again?
these things we'll never really know;
cos after waiting, we are blinded to such opporunitues,
and give up our only chances of 'making things better'.

then, there are the happy times-
times of laughter, times we happily reminisce.
we smile in reflection,
WE FEEL LIBERATED.
and somehow, we'll never forget.
cynics see it as life's most cruel joke;
to have happiness, but lose it all one day.
who's to know if happiness is eternal?
better to live in the moment,
than to worry about eternity.
'better to have loved and lost,
than to have not loved at all'.

Then, we think about LOVE.
what does it mean?
can it be described?
a feeling; that's what it is.
and i guess, we can search for all eternity long,
to find no such definition.
we SEE it, in daily actions, WORDS.
and we are to wrapped up in it,
we take it for granted.

it's sad that God's greatest gift to the world is wasted, in that way.

OH WELL.
back to the books, i guess.
goodness, life is MONOTONOUS.
i await the 16th of November 2006(:

FREEDOM!

Default.Wasting my time
Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again

Well this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Just make the call, and take it all

Papa Roach.Scars
Tear my heart open, i sew myself shut
My weakness is, i care too much
And my scars remind me,
that the past is REAL.
I tear my heart open, just to feel.

Michelle Branch.Everywhere
Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Westlife.If I let you go
I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
but sooner or later I've gotta choose
and once again
I'm thinkin' about taking the easy way out

Michelle branch.All you wanted
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the time comes
I'd take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares

It's funny how songs you used to listen to still mean so much NOW.
it's funny how you can see the same situations repeating itself.
it's funny how in retrospect,
nothing else could be done.

It's funniest when we wish we could do it go back and do it right.

GUIDES CAMPFIRE 2006.
it was nice(:
everything came together nicely, i think(:
good job, y'all.

something someone told me caused me to think.
did i ever mean anything to YOU?
what was i EVER to you?
there's always been this ONE question i wanted to ask;
but now, after everything..
how can i ask it again?
the stupid things i did, the foolish things i said.
i could apologise a thousand times over,
but it wouldn't be enough.

in retrospect,
i couldn't be more stupid.
so now, i pay the price.

WHY WON'T YOU JUST TALK TO ME?

Time passes.
people change.
it's comforting to know some remain the same.
situations may change, company might vary;
but at the end of the day,
there are some who never really morph with time.
those people are blessings,
and even more so,
if we can still complement each other like we used to.

i feel blessed.

theHOTfamily.
3i 05/4i 06
CPB.
instructors 05/OALs 06.

God, forgive me.
i've strayed so far.
draw me close to You, one again..

PP macs; forever and always, huh?
the leaders spent FOUR hours talking,
laughing, confessing.
it was all good.
i'll miss the OALs.
we should do it agian, some time(:
(perhaps, we'll actually go to MAC NET? (: )

mmh.went out to pp koptiam with wanping, yusin, belle, arica and sarah too.
talked, exahnged STORIES.
laughed, fell prey to an April fools' joke
(i'm gonna get you ONE DAY, FAIZAH)
and picked up on SCANDALS. (diandiandian! ;) )

we don't always get what we wish for.
but for those that do come true...
we don't always treasure.

'let's pretend that i've moved on and that life goes on without YOU.'