Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I like to run away once in a while;
to escape what I need to face NOW.
Be it with people, with my BOOKS, or with other situations...
I can't seem to handle confrontation.
I wonder why.

And to think that cowardice digusts me.

HAHA. I think all of us are walking ironies at least once in our lives.
Some for a longer period of time than others.
Whether we do it consciously, or not...
It happens.
And for those who notice it in othres, it's amusing to watch.

Pfft. I'm so tired of studying.
Seeing thh same stuff over and over and over and over again, pressurising yourself to do the same things over and over and over again and hearing the people around you sauying the same things over and over and over again...
It gets seriously tiring after a while.
Not to mention irritating/frustrating/anger-inducing...

GAH. I think we're ironies now, more so than ever.
Most of us, if not all, know the importance of the O LEVEL EXAMS.
BUT, a good number of us aren't working hard enough or to our expectation.
What ever happened to peaking at the right moments? (and not..uhh. Nevermind.)
Or PERFORMING TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITIES??
HAHA. It's so amusng how I can say all these things,
and STILL be unhappy with my level of commitment, regarding my work.

PFFT. This is so irritating.
No wonder some people just give up and go crazy.
(AHEM, selfp. Acting out =/= GOING out of our house(x )
Haha. I think at this point in time, all of us just need a bit of RANDOMNESS.
SO!...

WE ATE RICE IN THE HALL TODAY!!!MWAHAHAHAH!!!!
If only we had ikan bilis. It would've been like nasi lemak if we did.
And we were SO FULL we had to play caiquan and zhoujimima to get rid of the left over cake.
OH!!! HOW COULD I FORGET!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MALITAA...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!(:

May you (NOT!!) continue to be the smelly we all know. (HAHA. I'M SO FUNNY I CAN'T STAND MYSELF. *mingjin's/malita's/daddy's imaginary voices: ZI HAI.*)
And may you watch many many many many more NC-16 shows~!
(LEGALLY, of course. Pffft. Such a big headache, the last time round...(x )

ALRIGHTY THEN! I'M OFF TO CONQUER (or, hopefully, to START conquering) MOUNTAINS OF WORK!!! *ties heavy pink blanket around neck* *chokes* *loosens blanket to prevent suffocation (I'M SO SMART!!!(: )* *puts a hand on hip and thrusts (HAHAHA. HANDS and not hips...) the another (Like you know, on grad night last year?) into the (NONO, not like THAT, selfp.) air* (Pfft. Such weird thinking...) *runs away in a whirlwind of heavy pink cloth*

(Insert disturbed looks from rachel and jazzy. Also include a jaw drop from rach,
upon seeing the OFFENSIVE, PINK blanket)

Okay, SUGAR REFILL, ANYONE?!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

It's so pointless thinking bout things that are beyond your control.
Techinically, it's pointless thinking about people and their reactions too.
'Cos everyone's unpredictable at one pt in time or another, and there's no telling when the next moment will be, so i guess there's really no point trying to analyse some one or their reactions.
And that's why i don't quite understand why the majority of females do it anyway.
Maybe we're too paranoid, in the midst of becoming anal or utterly irritable.
Or it could just be the PMS.
Regardless, sometimes i think we worry too much for our own good.
Over thinking never leads to anything good...

Pfft.

...You know that if this earth should crack,
I'll be your solid ground.
I wwill be there to catch you when you fall down.

Whatever you want, whatever you need;
whatever it takes, I'd do anything.
If i had to crawl, get down on my knees...
Whatever it takes, i'd do anything.

--Anything. The calling.

I'm obsessed;
with too many things apparently...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagine you'd be here.
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
--Memories.Within Temptation.


Lessons are becoming more intense again.
not with the urgency to cover topics that have yet to be taught,
but by the pressure of the impending Os.
there're so near now..
less than five week away.
our bio practical is on the 17th.
nail biting, hair pulling, hand wringing...
tsk.not yet, i guess.
just mental trauma distress for now.
ooh.papers, papers and MORE papers!
not to mention our own revision agendas.
there are only so many things we can do in one day..
sometimes, i wish fatigue didn't exist.

SLOTH.one of the seven deadly sins.
ANGER.the most destructive of the seven deadly sins.
we just don't recognise sin, when we do.
only when it's too late...
what's the use?
time to put time to good use.
i should ban myself from the computer and the tv.
i SHOULD.but i know i CAN'T.
unless you tell me the exams have been re-scheduled to start tomorrow...
but isn't that how everyone's supposed to think, by now?
..at least, that's what we're convinced to think anyway.

Is it right?
Is it wrong?
sigh.i should be single minded to a fault, now.
but i'm hardly even focused.
some people stress me out.
they're already so far along with their revision..
and they're studying like CRAZY now.
while i, well...
haven't started.
ugh.enough moaning and groaning.
TIME TO GET TO WORK.

I WILL GET OFF THIS BLOODY COMPUTER.
I CAN DO THIS.
I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION.
I WILL NOT SLEEP EXCESSIVELY either.
I CAN DO THIS.

goal one: not to touch the computer till next friday.
let's see if i make it...

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The post-exam enjoyment/happiness has to die down now.
it's time to start mugging again.
this time, for a more important exam.
it's funny how our lives keep piling the exams one on top of another.
literal, spiritual, emotional, physical...
and we can't do anything but drag ourselves through.
but i bet everyone knows that;
what's the point in stating the obvious?
or stating the things that have been overly said, to the point of becoming cliche?
we live as we live.
end of story. ellipses.

TSK.impending decisions...
where to go? how much more do i have to do?
WHAT EXACTLY SHOULD I DO?
time's running. the clock's started.
then again, when has anyone been interested in that?
everyone knows time doesn't stop.
what point is there in doing the things we do, anyway?
the only certainty we have in birth, is death..
read that somewhere.
i thought Paulo Coelho's 'Veronika Decides to Die' was a starnge book at first.
but i guess, i understand now.
it really isn't so pointless trying to end life now,
whilst we're still looking good,
since life is so pointless anyway.
is there more to life?
sometimes, i wonder why God made me human.
to save more humans? to being misery to the Earth?
to be happy and to live?
to be saved?
the onus is on us, now, to save others.
with-holding treasures for selfish enjoyment is punishable.
...well, then.is that really the purpose of living?

God, is there an answer?
a step forward in faith; a step backward in guilt

No one likes sadness or complication.
so, let this be a happy post.

WOW.i'm going to start STUDYING next week.
I.CAN'T.WAIT!
the world is a bright and beautiful place!
people are as they seem, innocence stays with you your whole lifetime!
everything is perfect.
i could never ask for more!

haha.it's so easy to be happy.
but realise that when we are,
we can't really narrate it;
not as well as we define or describe negativity.
(for the normal person at least)
perhaps, it's cos we all secretly want empathy.
perhaps, even pity.
all of us want someone who undertands;
but above all, we all want someone who tries to understand us cos it shows our worth, as humans.
it's so easy to understand those who are understandable.
but can we be considered understanding if we ONLY try to understand those people?

sigh, sometimes the sterotypes can be so wrong...

ohwell.it's off to TRY TO start studying!
how HAPPY!

(selfp, like teh songs much?(x )
Within Tempation.Angels.
Sparkling angel, I believe
You were my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy, no more.
No remorse, cause I still remember...
The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why;
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember...
The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give you a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.