...Some are like water,
Some are like the heat.
Some are melodies,
Some are the beat.
Sooner or later they'll all be gone;
Why don't they stay on?
It's hard to get without a cause;
I don't want to perish like a fading voice.
Youth is like diamonds in the sun;
And diamonds are forever.
So many adventures couldn't happened today,
So many songs that we forgot to play,
So many dreams swimming out in the blue...
Let them come true.

Forever young; I want to be forever young.

Do you really want to live forever?
--Youth Group. Forever Young.

Interesting question.

A photo update. What 2006 has brought me...

Dhil, Shin and I on Racial Harmony day. I LOVE the kitchen dept(: Cooler carrying, crapping and all...(x
Deepavali 2006!(: At Ash's place. It was nice. And we tried to act lian with the one, two, three, four poses(x
Our last campfire. Dhil and I walking to the kitchen again. The last time, ever...
4I 2006(: I LOVE 4I(: Graduation Day 2006. Best pic of our class, yet!
And of course, my beloved HOTs. At Grace's place on the 21st. One dinner I'll never forget, even though we didn't do anything much...

2006 brought so many events, so mnay people. And I thank God for them(: Four years in Ceadr wouldn't have been the same without them(x

IT'S CHRISTMAS!(x
Easily the most anticipated holiday of the year, really.
With presents, friends, family and TIME... Who wouldn't like it?
Unless of course, you're stuck at home with nothing much to do.
Somehow, I feel guilty; cos I've been thinking bout MYSELF and how I'm enjoying MY holiday, not bout what Christmas means.
Jesus was born; that's the most important thing(:
It's the most important now, and it was 2000 odd years ago too.
He saved us from eternal damnation, walks besides us and loves us unconditionally...

If that doesn't deserve to be celebrated, I don't know what does.

So, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE(: You're loved, waaaay beyond expectation... Regardless of who you are(:

2007 is in a WEEK! AHHH!
That's a scary thought, to say the least.
Moving to a new school, meeting new people... Finally being able to NOT be nun...
There are so many things to be done! People to meet, cards that have yet to be sent out, things to think about, issues to settle...
2006 has been wonderful(: It let me come full circle.
And now, I must end it properly, to lock the memories up for good.
So, if you ave unfinished business iwth me, please drop me a msg or sthg.
I'll try to settle it before 2007 begins.

But, if i don't, I'm sorry.
I'll try to make it up to you in the new year.
To good, old friends --It's not goodbye. I'm not letting go. So, please don't.

There are so many other things I want to say bout this year, about the future...
But I guess it's redundant now.
Everything I have to say is in the people I care for, in the people I love.
And, I guess, try as I might, I can never find the right words to justify just how good the Lord has been to me this year.

Living testimonies affect others the most deeply...
Now, I see why.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!(:

To you, who has been a constant in my life--
It's been what, 5 years, now? We've changed so much; but we're lucky to have changed together. It's not the same any more, I guess. No longer the innocent people looking to surpass each other (okay, it might be me.) in tuition, but the people who've been through life-changing painful and, for the lack of a better word, happy experiences. I'm glad we didn't let go, too. Can you imagine if we did? I can't, actually. Thank you for giving me time; time to grow and straighten myself out. I don't know why I'm doing this now, so spontaneously, but it's stuff you should know, if you didn't already(x You've got lots of things to tell me; TSK! The scandals on your blog, for a start ;) But it's always been like that huh? Nonsense, sense, doesn't matter any more. We talk; and that's what counts.

Remember what you promised me bout next year. Work hard for it. We both will.

To you, who I owe an explanation--
It's been done. False hope, lies, deceit; if you think those, after reading it, then I'm sorry. I can't help you any more. If you think not, I leave the rest to you. I might still do things you don't want me to, but I might. And for reasons I hope you understand. So, I really hope you do; I'm getting a bit frustrated with putting stuff in words.

Corrinne May. Everything in Its Time.
Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
In the silence i can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

'Cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I love this song. Perhaps, this is what the Lord has been trying to tell me all this time. Don't know why, but there's a sudden... Disconnection. I hope things go back to normal soon. It's hard to beliebe everything's fine and normal when you constantly feel that there's something missing.

I was just thinking of a few people; how they've changed, the people I knew them as, the people they've become... It's fascinating how people affect other people. And how we move on, eventually, 'cos nothing can really hold us back; not forever at least. We're all moving on for good, soon; postings will be out this coming Thursday. I've always thought that I'd be elated that I'm FINALLY moving on, but now that we've come to it... I can't help but think that going back to Cedar next year would be the best thing ever.

It's probably the fear of the unknown, the fear of... Rejection. So many uncertainties in the coming year --so many new people to meet, so many new things to do. I wonder if I'll be able to do them all; I wonder if I'll regret doing anything, or NOT doing some of the things for that matter. But all these are so... Understood. Everyone feels the same things. Sometimes, I don't know why I blog the obvious.

I'm gonna miss everyone. The CACAT times, the sad times, the crazy times, the mundane times, the anxious times... In each of those times, I was with people. They made memories with me. I don't wanna forget them, and I don't have all the photos to commemorate every event... But prayfully, even 10 years down the road from now, I hope I remember how I felt. That's all that matters, at the end of the day.

The holidays are overrated.
After the prom buzz and everything else, everything sort of went... Stale.
PFFT. Haha, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone else feels the same way.
To think we were looking forward to the post-Os period OH SO eagerly...
OH WELL. Time to catch up on the things we missed (if anything at all).

Things to do:
1) Finish up CHRISTMAS CARDS. (It's kinda ironic that I'm DAMN BORED, yet can't find the will to finish anything. x_x)
2) Finish getting presents for everyone!(x (HEH. Fun part.)
3) READ MORE FANFICS.
4) Settle any... Delayed situations... Before 2006 ends. (TATA, YOU FREE?(x haha.)
5) MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE JC POSTING RESULTS NEXT WEEK. (x_x God knows best... God knoes best...)
6) OTHE RANDOM THINGS SUCH AS BLOGGING AND BOTHERING MY NEE AND MAKING SURE MY COUSINS WRECK OUR HOME. Of course; MAKING SURE I DON'T KILL THEM OUT OF ANNOYANCE. OH YES! And to READ THE BLEACH MANGA. :3 Haha. Think I'm obsessed(x

LAHDEEDAH. Leaders' chalet next week!
(I can't wait.) Though I might have to disappear to Johor for the day...
OH WELL. ALL IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT! (WASTE AWAY YOUR LIFE! YAY! JOY TO THE WORLD!)

I'm beginning to think too much time mightn't be THAT good for the soul;
too much time to think (of crazy stuff to do) bout stuff...

LAST BATCH OF PHOTOS!(x
Mingen!(:

Shiwen!(:

AND MY BELOVED KITCHEN DEPT 05-06(: hahaha. I LOVE this pic(:

OHH.and for those who want their pics... i have the vicky/tata one with me ;) think the rest have got their pics..?(:

Seasons of Love. Rent soundtrack.
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear
525,600 minutes how do you measure
Measure a year
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life
How about love
How about love
How about love
Measure in love
Seasons of love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 journeys to plan
525,600 minutes how can you measure the life of a woman or man
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried?
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died?

It's time now to sing out, though the story never ends
Let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

Good movie. Loved the soundtrack(:

MORE PHOTOS!(x

Zhenluan looking ABSOLUTELY GIRLY.

YUSIN, JENNIFER AND ARICA!(x their turns next year.. ;)

Jing!(x Wonder if she applied make up at all...

ZI!!haha, haven't talked to her in ages...

DARLING DHILSHAD.scary eyes 0.0

SARAH MUMMY!!haha, tall and fair and with BIG...(x

RACHEL SEE with red highlights and looking very pretty(:

T-MELIA!!!(x

ACHU!..looking ohsosleepy.pftt.rum and coke, eh? ;)

GOTHIC BELLE.hahah(: pretty, though(:

haha, there're still come more. My weird comp won't upload them though.hmmm...

NOW, for the UPDATE ON PROM NIGHT 2006!
haha, I had a BLAST(: Six. The awesome class of 2006.
Whatever we're called, I think we're the craziest batch to ever grace the Cedar compound. I'll miss all of y'all... Cedarians, forever(:

There was the crazy photo taking in the foyer when I arrived. The EXCO 05-06 was there, plus khong, tata, etc(x heh. I couldn't recognise ANY ONE there. Everyone was sooo preeetttaaayyy.(x haha. Then, it was up to the hall for more crazy phot taking(x It was fun running around in heels, screaming for people to take pics with you. Haha, practically everyone was doing that(x

Ash and I looking well, smiley?(x
Sining looked pretty without specs!!(x haha. It was different though..(:

Jazzy, Rach and I. Jazzy looking 'expensive'(heh.) in her purple dress and STRAIGHT hair, and Rach looking fab in her blue top(: (pfft. You DO NOT have a fat face.)

Evelyn looked so sweet(:

Hmmm. My comp's not cooperating with me. So, more next time(x

A dull throb. That's all the past few days mean to me now.
Everything's passing so fast; can't remember them well... Can't SAVOUR them.
And somehow, I can't bring myself to record them any more.
Everything I see, everything I feel...
No words can do them justice.
Not now, at least. So wrapped up in everything I want, everything there is to do...

Ideal? Maybe.

Alanis Morissette. Ironic.
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures.

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think?

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures.

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

It's a traffic jam when you're already late
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out...
Helping you out.

And after Hands Clean, i thought i'd never find a song that would stay in my head for THAT long again...

I like to run away once in a while;
to escape what I need to face NOW.
Be it with people, with my BOOKS, or with other situations...
I can't seem to handle confrontation.
I wonder why.

And to think that cowardice digusts me.

HAHA. I think all of us are walking ironies at least once in our lives.
Some for a longer period of time than others.
Whether we do it consciously, or not...
It happens.
And for those who notice it in othres, it's amusing to watch.

Pfft. I'm so tired of studying.
Seeing thh same stuff over and over and over and over again, pressurising yourself to do the same things over and over and over again and hearing the people around you sauying the same things over and over and over again...
It gets seriously tiring after a while.
Not to mention irritating/frustrating/anger-inducing...

GAH. I think we're ironies now, more so than ever.
Most of us, if not all, know the importance of the O LEVEL EXAMS.
BUT, a good number of us aren't working hard enough or to our expectation.
What ever happened to peaking at the right moments? (and not..uhh. Nevermind.)
Or PERFORMING TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITIES??
HAHA. It's so amusng how I can say all these things,
and STILL be unhappy with my level of commitment, regarding my work.

PFFT. This is so irritating.
No wonder some people just give up and go crazy.
(AHEM, selfp. Acting out =/= GOING out of our house(x )
Haha. I think at this point in time, all of us just need a bit of RANDOMNESS.
SO!...

WE ATE RICE IN THE HALL TODAY!!!MWAHAHAHAH!!!!
If only we had ikan bilis. It would've been like nasi lemak if we did.
And we were SO FULL we had to play caiquan and zhoujimima to get rid of the left over cake.
OH!!! HOW COULD I FORGET!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MALITAA...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!(:

May you (NOT!!) continue to be the smelly we all know. (HAHA. I'M SO FUNNY I CAN'T STAND MYSELF. *mingjin's/malita's/daddy's imaginary voices: ZI HAI.*)
And may you watch many many many many more NC-16 shows~!
(LEGALLY, of course. Pffft. Such a big headache, the last time round...(x )

ALRIGHTY THEN! I'M OFF TO CONQUER (or, hopefully, to START conquering) MOUNTAINS OF WORK!!! *ties heavy pink blanket around neck* *chokes* *loosens blanket to prevent suffocation (I'M SO SMART!!!(: )* *puts a hand on hip and thrusts (HAHAHA. HANDS and not hips...) the another (Like you know, on grad night last year?) into the (NONO, not like THAT, selfp.) air* (Pfft. Such weird thinking...) *runs away in a whirlwind of heavy pink cloth*

(Insert disturbed looks from rachel and jazzy. Also include a jaw drop from rach,
upon seeing the OFFENSIVE, PINK blanket)

Okay, SUGAR REFILL, ANYONE?!

It's so pointless thinking bout things that are beyond your control.
Techinically, it's pointless thinking about people and their reactions too.
'Cos everyone's unpredictable at one pt in time or another, and there's no telling when the next moment will be, so i guess there's really no point trying to analyse some one or their reactions.
And that's why i don't quite understand why the majority of females do it anyway.
Maybe we're too paranoid, in the midst of becoming anal or utterly irritable.
Or it could just be the PMS.
Regardless, sometimes i think we worry too much for our own good.
Over thinking never leads to anything good...

Pfft.

...You know that if this earth should crack,
I'll be your solid ground.
I wwill be there to catch you when you fall down.

Whatever you want, whatever you need;
whatever it takes, I'd do anything.
If i had to crawl, get down on my knees...
Whatever it takes, i'd do anything.
--Anything. The calling.

I'm obsessed;
with too many things apparently...

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagine you'd be here.
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
--Memories.Within Temptation.

Lessons are becoming more intense again.
not with the urgency to cover topics that have yet to be taught,
but by the pressure of the impending Os.
there're so near now..
less than five week away.
our bio practical is on the 17th.
nail biting, hair pulling, hand wringing...
tsk.not yet, i guess.
just mental trauma distress for now.
ooh.papers, papers and MORE papers!
not to mention our own revision agendas.
there are only so many things we can do in one day..
sometimes, i wish fatigue didn't exist.

SLOTH.one of the seven deadly sins.
ANGER.the most destructive of the seven deadly sins.
we just don't recognise sin, when we do.
only when it's too late...
what's the use?
time to put time to good use.
i should ban myself from the computer and the tv.
i SHOULD.but i know i CAN'T.
unless you tell me the exams have been re-scheduled to start tomorrow...
but isn't that how everyone's supposed to think, by now?
..at least, that's what we're convinced to think anyway.

Is it right?
Is it wrong?
sigh.i should be single minded to a fault, now.
but i'm hardly even focused.
some people stress me out.
they're already so far along with their revision..
and they're studying like CRAZY now.
while i, well...
haven't started.
ugh.enough moaning and groaning.
TIME TO GET TO WORK.

I WILL GET OFF THIS BLOODY COMPUTER.
I CAN DO THIS.
I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION.
I WILL NOT SLEEP EXCESSIVELY either.
I CAN DO THIS.

goal one: not to touch the computer till next friday.
let's see if i make it...

The post-exam enjoyment/happiness has to die down now.
it's time to start mugging again.
this time, for a more important exam.
it's funny how our lives keep piling the exams one on top of another.
literal, spiritual, emotional, physical...
and we can't do anything but drag ourselves through.
but i bet everyone knows that;
what's the point in stating the obvious?
or stating the things that have been overly said, to the point of becoming cliche?
we live as we live.
end of story. ellipses.

TSK.impending decisions...
where to go? how much more do i have to do?
WHAT EXACTLY SHOULD I DO?
time's running. the clock's started.
then again, when has anyone been interested in that?
everyone knows time doesn't stop.
what point is there in doing the things we do, anyway?
the only certainty we have in birth, is death..
read that somewhere.
i thought Paulo Coelho's 'Veronika Decides to Die' was a starnge book at first.
but i guess, i understand now.
it really isn't so pointless trying to end life now,
whilst we're still looking good,
since life is so pointless anyway.
is there more to life?
sometimes, i wonder why God made me human.
to save more humans? to being misery to the Earth?
to be happy and to live?
to be saved?
the onus is on us, now, to save others.
with-holding treasures for selfish enjoyment is punishable.
...well, then.is that really the purpose of living?

God, is there an answer?
a step forward in faith; a step backward in guilt

No one likes sadness or complication.
so, let this be a happy post.

WOW.i'm going to start STUDYING next week.
I.CAN'T.WAIT!
the world is a bright and beautiful place!
people are as they seem, innocence stays with you your whole lifetime!
everything is perfect.
i could never ask for more!

haha.it's so easy to be happy.
but realise that when we are,
we can't really narrate it;
not as well as we define or describe negativity.
(for the normal person at least)
perhaps, it's cos we all secretly want empathy.
perhaps, even pity.
all of us want someone who undertands;
but above all, we all want someone who tries to understand us cos it shows our worth, as humans.
it's so easy to understand those who are understandable.
but can we be considered understanding if we ONLY try to understand those people?

sigh, sometimes the sterotypes can be so wrong...

ohwell.it's off to TRY TO start studying!
how HAPPY!

(selfp, like teh songs much?(x )
Within Tempation.Angels.
Sparkling angel, I believe
You were my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy, no more.
No remorse, cause I still remember...
The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why;
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember...
The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give you a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

I guess this week has been relatively good.
Praise God. He heard my prayers and answered them.
And now, i'm relying on Him again to show me where i should go.
I'm sure He'll provide me with a sign, in due time.
He never fails. I know that now.

I'm in love with a song from the GOOFY MOVIE.
hahaha.my sister's fault--
she found an anime music video using the song as background music.
HILARIOUS.
hahaha.so, now, i'm addicted to the song.
WOOHOO.i'll probably be singing that after the Os.
haha, but i'll guess it'll apply FOR A WHILE, for now(x
SO CUTE.

After Today. A Goofy Movie.
They've been laughin' since I can remember
But they're not gonna laugh anymore
No more "Maxie the geek", no more "Goof of the week"
Like befooore

No more algebra tests 'til September
No more lookin' at losers like him
No more more havin' to cheat
No more mystery meat
No more gym
No more gym
No more gym
No more gym!

Gonna move to the mall!
Gonna live in the pool!
Gonna talk to Roxanne and not feel like a fool!

'Cause after today I'm gonna be cruisin'!
After today she'll be mine!
After today my brains will be snoozin'!
If I don't faint I'll be fine!
I've got forty more minutes, of home economics
Then down with the text books
And up with the comics!
Just think of all the time I've been losin'
Finding the right thing to say!
But things will be going my way, after today

She looked right through me, and who could blame her?
I need a new me, plus some positive proof that I'm not just a goof, and
After today I'm gonna be cruisin'!
No more pep rallys to cut! Yech!
After today my brains will be snoozin'!
I'm gonna sit on my butt
I've got less than an hour, and when this is ended
I'll either be famous..
Or you'll be suspended!

Just think of all the time I've been losin'
Waiting untill I could say ...
Gonna be on my own, kiss the parents goodbye
Gonna party from now 'till the end of July
Things'll be going my way, after todaaaaaaay...

I wish that this was the day after today.

HAHAHAHA(x
oh well.so much for day dreaming.
it's time to hit the books...
AGAIN.
(i want my six points.BADLY.)
hurhur.i think we're all weird.
HAHAHA.funny.

i guess i was wrong.
anyway i put it now, i'll always be wrong when it comes to you.
so, it's good.
i don't understand.
and you can finally leave this behind.
perhaps, you finally see my point.my worthlessness...
and decide that you're worth more than this.

Perhaps...

Results back today.
half of the papers, at least.
i have hope, still.
but for how long will it last?
SIGH.only tomorrow will tell...

We're into midweek already.
the days pass so quickly, now.
tsk.and we really have to start work all over again.
kinda hard when you still don't know where your prelim results might take you.
an excuse? a reason?
haha, i don't know why i'm deluding myself.
BAH.WORK.NOW.
don't look back; cannot look back.

All things are possible in Him.
with all i'm holding inside,
i trust Him to deliver me.
i trust Him to help me, like He always does.
WE HAVE HOPE YET.

Sec threes taking their exams now.

hmmm.64774643837984464, eh?
i guess.and you're right.
what can i say now, anyway?
you've resolved to walk on.
and that's different from 64774643837984464.
even if you believe it isn't.

A bowling session taught me a lesson.
The machine was faulty,
so some people got some extra chances to bowl,
and make up for what they didn't manage to do the first time round.
It was a 'second chance', so to speak.
others, however, weren't as 'lucky'.
Some kept saying that if you waited long enough,
'luck' would eventually come to you.
Well, that never happened.

It made me think;
why do some people get second chances in life?
will we wait in blind anticpation till luck comes a knocking?
or will scepticism get to us first and make life miserable?
DON'T ALL OF US DESERVE SECONDA CHANCES?
why is it, then, that some people don't get those chances,
especially after making so many (DAMNED) mistakes?

Another funny thing that happened was that after every strike or spare,
that bowler would lose her 'luck' and do..
comparatively worse.
It's strange, but it happens in life too.
I guess that's why people hoard things, hoard people;
because they don't want to let go of the things they painstakingly begged/borrowed/stole/worked their souls out/betrayed themselves to get.
But what if we had to let them go?
What if life really doesn't do well after hitting the peak?
Can we quit, then? Will we quit?
will we call life a 'waste of time and money'?
Or will we sulk, simply cos we aren't good enough?
CAN we be better?
Does practice EVER make perfect?
Or is it yet another ideal?

Sometimes, i wonder where God is in all this.
Does He see us wodnering and laugh at our immaturity?
Or does He sigh and pity us for living with such warped preception?
IS HE EVEN THERE?
Does He even care?

...sometimes, i wonder.
But i never get my answers.

I realise that when i want something too much,
I keep telling myself that i MUST do it;
I keep forcing myself to believe i need it more than i really do.
Then, i lose my cool and everything falls apart.
Perhaps, it's just better to forget what i want.
Or forget pursuing of it.
So that, finally, God would be fair.
Seems like everything now is an endless pursuit anyway;
we want GOOD GRADES, we want to get into a GOOD JC, we want to get into a GOOD UNI STREAM, we want to have a GOOD CAREER, we want to live a GOOD LIFE.
chasing, Chasing, CHASING.
WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS STOP?
Then, I remember that we have a cjhoice;
we COULD make all this go away;
we COULD stop wanting anything.
But we don't, and CHOOSE to continue lamenting when things don't go our way.
We're all probably more stupid than we think.

WHY do we care for what people think ANYWAY?
I can ask for ALL eternity,
yet KNOW at the end of the day,
all of us care what the next person thinks of us,
simply because we are humans seeking acceptance.
EVEN WHEN we act as if we don't care.
MAYBE one day, we'll FINALLY decide to TRULY disregard everyone's opinion of us.
HAH, if that be the case,
most of us will end up butt naked on the street with nothing to our name,
simply because it's EASIEST to,
and simply because we DON'T care any more.
WHY, then, are these people labelled CRAZY,
when they've achieved something NONE of us have yet to achieve?
they are 'pioneers' in their own right.
yet, society shuns them and tries to covre up this 'blemish'.
perhaps, this blemish lies within us.
perhaps, we don't want anything enough to do it SIMPLY BECAUSE we want to do it.
perhaps, opinions shouldn't have as much impact on us as they do now.
perhaps, we really shouldn't care.
it's our right, as human beings, anyway...

...right?

HAHAHA.
sometimes, we do things prematurely,
and hope with bated breath that we will never come to regret the things we do.
RIGHT TIMING.
always counts.

Haha, riiight.

ONE MORE DOWN, ONE MORE TO GO.
Physics practical on thursday...
yet, the celebrations are starting tomorrow.
haha, we're SAVOURING every moment.
i don't know how geniuses do it;
or how people can study 24/7..
or somewhere near there.

Ever wanted to be alone?
just for the sake of avoiding other people?
have you ever felt the need to rediscover yourself,
for fear that you don't know yourself any more?
have you ever wanted to remain permanently invisible;
to be blotted out of everyone's lives?

have you ever feared yourself?
or feared the things you would do when no one's observing?
have you felt the need to hide yourself away,
for fear that you'll hurt someone else again?
have you ever felt afriad that you'll become someone you don't want to be?
or felt constricted, simply because you feel that the decision has already been made?
have you ever asked yourself why you fear?
or what causes fear?

have you? do you? will you ever?

..sometimes, i think i'm abnormal for questioning.

Less than a month away from the Os.
and i'm already tired, worn out.
tsk.shameless.
unbearable temptations, fantasies of SIMPLICITY.
all these whilst staring at my books.
through which i'm supposed to GLEAN INFO.
sheesh.whatever happened to 'focus' or 'determination'?
pfft.i hope for ALL our sakes that we can pick up the pace again once we've exhausted ourselves with..ENJOYMENT.
haha.what a funny thought.

till then,
let the fun begin.

THE WEEKEND IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!
*jumps around*
OKAY, even if the papers didn't go AS WELL..
I'M STILL HAPPY THEY'RE OVER.
i can forget bout an A for ss/geog.
doubtful with regard to phys, bio and chem.
HOPEFUL for amath.heheh.
and there's still emath and chinese next week.
ahh, of course, not forgettting the practicals.
(4/I's in shift TWO for bio! and shift ONE for phys!(: )
i predict that this weekend's gonna be..
SLACK.
haha, if today's anything to go by...
VERY SLACK.
and i'm loving every minute of it(x

it's kinda sad;
gotta start working HARD for Os right after the prelims.
tsk.the time we have to savour is SO SHORT...
i bet some are already working on their post prelim schedules.
goodness, the stress of being left behind.
ohwell.

to all who are taking a form of exam or another: JIAYOU!(:

hmmm.feeling especially...happy today.
somthing must be wrong(x
(learning too quick eh, selfp?(x
and don't worry.you'll do JUST FINE.)

I can't belive i'm doing this.
it's two fucking days to the prelims.
and i'm online.
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!
i haven't even touched my ss/geog yet.
DAMN IT.
i'm gonna die a gory, bloody death once the papers start.
i'm fed up with myself.
if i was someone else,
i'd throw up my arms and walk away.
BUT, i seem to be attached to myself,
so i can't.
damn it.

This is so pathetic.
i'm complaining bout myself.
i might as well be partially schizo.
(if not totally)
damn.damn.damn.
and whatever happened to wanting to get into vj,
or wanting to get 7 pts for prelims?
..all i've done is to disappoint myself.
over,
and over,
and over,
and over,
and over,
and over..
again.

Everyone at home's been so..nice;
my mum and dad are getting us nice things to eat,
even my nee's been doing that.
my maid's been so nice;
saving me a trip upstairs.
i SHOULD be repaying their kindness with an unwavering determination to work,
with steadfast commitment to my STUDIES.
but nice is overrated.
and so are my attempts.

i ought to be shot.
maybe thrown into the atlantic ocean or sthg.

i SHOULD be off studying something to do with seeds or tourist arrivals,
but i know i won't.
i'll probably just day dream.
of what?..i don't even know.
i could make it sound better and say i'm meditating,
but i know better.

i'm all out of faith.
this is how i feel..

illusion never changed into something real.

Blast from the past.

There are SO MNAY things i wanna forget from sec 3.
so many things i regret doing,
so many people i regret letting go.
opprtune moments, pragmatism;
HAHA.i thought i could wait for those to come.
and, i realise now...
you can't.
they're meant for us to create.
what was there yesterday, might not be here today.
can we keep holding on?
or waiting for something to happen?
all of us have our 'what if's.
and i guess after all that has happened...
there are gonna be very few in my life from now on.

I miss my ex-angel.
i miss my ex-mortal.
two people who i let go last ear,
and never realised till this year.
VERY STUPID, huh?
but we all are, in retrospect.
maybe that's what i'd like to believe...
but it seems to be happeneing all the time.
time lost, time gained.
time... we have.
what we do now is what matters more than what we did a second ago,
or what we're gonna do a second from now.
we live NOW.
and, even if we decide to scale the walls we once left to crumble,
it's still something we're doing now.
perhaps, we'll conquer them this time.
maybe we'll meet the people on either sides of the wall.
maybe, finally, we'll find what we forsook on our way here.

carpe diem; seize the moment.

Today is just another day to rectify the mistakes i made yesterday.
a day is just another day, spent waiting impatiently for things to get done.
tomorrow will be be like today, and the day after that like tomorrow.
if life is really this pointless, i don't see the point in living.
we keep asking ourselves what we want from life..
we have all these ideals;
oh, great career, great friends... happiness.
but what do we REALLY want?
sometimes, i lose sight, and i don't know why i continue to live.
sometimes i think it's easier to just die--
to finally go up to heaven and be with God, eternally.
but i KNOW He placd me on earth for a reason.
i guess we're all placed on earth for a reason, then.
it's just a matter of time before we find it..

or so i'd like to think.

preferably a time before we go insane,
or become wasted (whichever comes first),
from waiting for diving direction.

and now, i'm wondering if there's even such a thing.
waiting is the single most difficult thing we're called to do.
hah, great truths.
little realisation, too late.

crack, crack, crack, break.

paranoia did no one any good.
neither did guilt.
so stupid; SO, SO STUPID.
to think i doubted.
someone should really just shoot me.

and so, the drama of the ****** syndrome starts.

And we walk on.

the prelims are coming closer!
*gasp* monday -english; tuesday - chem prac.
haha.never thought that things would move so fast.

perhaps, if life were to slow down...

Things have happened.
i'm confused.
i'm not supposed to think about it;
i'm not supposed to sink into numbness.
but i'm slipping.
soon, sooner..present.
haha.never would have thought..

it takes courage to be a person.
i realise that now

regret IS life's greatest pain.

sometmies, we think we think think some things can be saved.
it's true that some things ARE saved in the end..
but that isn't a guaruntee for all cases.
maybe hope's redundant.
it lifts you up,
then plunges you back down to reality..
WITH SO MUCH PAIN.
it's sometimes better that we take a step back,
to analyse the situation; to consider a step forward.
or to just be; something we forget to do,
when we're so wrapped up in emotion.

I never meant it.
and i'm NOT pushing you out.
i just need TIME and DISTANCE.
it'll come back,
if things play right.
but till then,
I'm sorry.

HOT outing today!
mummy, daddy, jazzy, rachel, zi, vi, evelyn and zhenluan.
lunched at cartel, beofre catching 'lake house' at PS.
talked LOTS.caught up LOTS.
i finally understand.
haha.that LONG AWAITED understanding.
conversation was good, company was great.
i couldn't possibly have wanted anything more.
i'll miss all of you, come next year ):
i guess i'll just have to treasure what we have now,
and keep these memories close to me, when we'e all separated.
one good memory is enough.
it pulled so many through life;
i hope where ever we go,
these times will be able to pull us through.

Some one asked me something today.
'do you believe in fairytales?'
i guess fairytales exist to only those who belive in their existance;
to those who belive in happy endings.
what ARE fairytales?
are they manifestations of hope?
or something people use to run away from reality?
..some times, i think they're both.
and for the weirdest reason ever,
i thought back to the HOTs;
the 14 of us.
they're my fairytale;
my manfestation of hope that good companionship is ALWAYS possible,
even IN SPITE of all the shit we go through.
they're my hide out from reality;
their companionship is my haven.
and that feeling of being loved is good enough for me now.

so, do i believe in fairytales?
yes, i do.
cos i see them around me 5 days a week,
and i feel them 24/7(:

If you died today,
who will mourn your passing?

Anger, disappointment, betrayal.
they're all part of life.
insecurity plagues it.
you mightn't forget what they did to you,
for a long time to come.
but, take heart.
it's an experience gained.
you're smarter now;
and your passion can never really be wrong.
we're all scarred.
don't cry;
the tears cut deep into those who care for you.

you dread.
you don't want it to happen again.
yet, you're confronted with the fact that it is.
you can't run from it,
you can't hide from it.
it's you.
it's always been a part of you.
you thought you'd gotten rid of it..
you thought you were finally free; free to be whoever you wanted to be.
but your past haunts you.
and now, it's back;
at the wrong time,
in the wrong situation.

why is it you keep running?
what do you fear?
why keep asking, why keep going on?
you have no answers,
you're angry, frustrated.
and yet, you still have no answers.
you hate yourself.
you lead people on, then push them away.
you're a horrible person.

and yet, you still 'have people'.
hahaha.what irony.

why does that barrier exist?
why do you let it exist?
to keep yourself protected?
or to block people out?
do you fear hurt? rejection? disappointment?
why do you not let your guard down?
will there be a day, a person you'll be able to let through?
it's happened before; it destroyed who you are.
you see it happening again.
you're forced to think of your options;
to run? to hide?
or to confront it, knowing the same thing MIGHT happen again?

do you put yourself at risk?
or do you hurt the people you set out to comfort?
you don't know.
YOU DON'T know.
YOU DON'T KNOW!!!
damn it.DAMN IT.
of all the things NOT to know.

you're forced to make that decision again.

they're knocking.
will you let them in?

why do we avoid things in life?
out of fear? or rebellion?
against yourself? or for the 'greater good'?

why do we bother to define?
what happens when we're wrong?

I.don't.know.

i'm sorry; it was never my place to fill..

There are only three things i really want as of now.
that's the funny thing bout life, ain't it?
you REALLY don't get what you want.
it seems SO CLOSE.
and in a second, it's gone.
maybe that's why people stop dreaming.
maybe that's how innocence is lost.

is it 'cos we want too much?
or is it 'cos we realise HOW MUCH we want it ONLY after we let it go?
i really wonder some times.
and ooh, let's not forget jealousy;
makes life a whole lot more interesting, no?
you see some one else having something you want,
perhaps even something you used to have,
and suddenly, you want what your neighbour has.
whoa.aren't we VOLATILE.(yes, miss self pollinated? x) )
then, does 'want' come from jealousy or true need?
the lines are blurred now;
more so, in a world where everyone wants everything.
and where most HAVE everything.
we can never het enough.
sad, really.

what ever happened to SIMPLE pleasures?
(NO, not like that, self pollinated.(x )

one of these days, we'er all gonna burst.
and we'll see what the world thinks of us then.
maybe we only THINK we want;
cos we're temporarily deprived of something we used to have.
i guess at the end of the day, we want..
cos we don't have.
and that's all we need to accept.
that's all the world would ever let us accept anyway.

how fas time flies.
it's been 5 FREAKING weeks since term 3 started.
it's scary, to say the least.
the week just started like, yesterday?
it's it's friday already.
i wonder how much faster time will fly.
it's ironic, though;
how slow time can pass in an instant;
in a particular moment.

sometimes, i just want time to stop.
(like in that commercial)
to let me savour all the wonderful things life has given me,
but haven't yet been realised.
maybe then, i'll be a better person, more appreciative.
and maybe then, i'll stop regretting every moment that comes to pass.

please speak slowly, my heart is learning

DAMN IT.
it's not fair to be irritated with people who don't have anything to do with your anger.
it's NOR RIGHT.
so, why do people still do it?
are we rebellious by nature?
or do we just like to be angry?
is it a mark of maturity; to be angry and angsty?
or is it cool to be brooding and hoarding suppressed feelings?
DAMN IT.
i don't understand this; i don't understand anything any more.
and it sure as hell pisses me off.

it doesn't help that people keep coming in and BOTHERING me.
what's wrong with SOLITUDE.
can i not stay in my room and NOT be bothered for ONE NIGHT?
apparently, it's not possible.
every 20 mins, i have someone coming in to 'check on me' or ask for somthing.
AM I TWO F**KING YEARS OLD?
i can do things myself, thank you very much.
damn it.
i have a mountain load of work ahead of me;
i have to complete it by tomorrow.i'm feeling pissed as hell,
don't wanna do shit,
and it's already 11.

DAMN IT.

and it's racial harmony day tomorrow.
it's supposed to be a joyous event.
i'm supposed to be HAPPY damnit.
probably gonna be sleep deprived this evening,
end up slcaking my time away and going to school with hell to pay for that.
what the hell is wrong with me?!

damn it.
random rant.

it's better out, than it.

some people..
hmmm.
it's sad when we don't know when it's time for us to move on;
from where we are, from the people we know.
sometimes, we're so helpless against their wills.
we don't know what they truly want,
we don't know how they think.
it's frustrating, really.
and TRUST.
always an issue, no?
sometimes, we don't know where to put it
and that in turn hurts us more than not giving it away.

starnge things, we humans do.

at least i've moved on from you.
yet, not a backward glance have you thrown...

some thins in life are for that best.
we just need to have faith that everything will be fine,
at the end of the day.

Have you ever felt helpless?
you know so many things,
you know that something HAS to be done..
and you can't do it yourself.
don't you just hate that powerless feeling?
no control, nothing you can do.

you're floudering hopelessly in an ocean of doubts,
of 'what if's.
you're trapped in a nightmare, of the past.
you somehow know that this seems familiar..
and you hate that feeling.
you never wanna turn back,
but circumstance finds you doing just that.

you're forced to look at your demons head on,
on eye level with.
you don't want to blink, for fear that something could happen.
the strain in burning your eyes.
the tears are forming.
you're scared, you pray fervently..
then, you close them.
perhaps, by faith, nothing bad will happen.
perhaps, everyone will be okay, just like they were.
perhaps, everything will go back to borning, mundane, normalacy.

everything, you know.
or so you think.
you worry, for fear that something REALLY bad will happen.
that the someone you're worried for won't be able to get up again.
you wish, SO BADLY to help.
but, you know you can't.
some battles have to be fought by yourself.
and it's especially during these periods that you worry.
trust, faith?
these challenges are what test them, no?
..then, why am i afraid of the test?
fear that i won't be resolute in my belief in the person in question?
fear that faith won't pull us through?
..or fear that i won't be strong enough for her, when the time calls for me to be?
i hate waiting.i hate guessing.
but that IS part of life.
something God put there to anchor our trust in Him.
to show us that faith is really all you need.

you know you're supposed to have faith.
you know you don't need to worry.
yet, you do.
you life your eyes, even if it's just a little,
to confirm what's NOT there.
reassures, you look back down at your tasks;
tehn you feel a stab of guilt.
you chose to deny faith, belief.
you weren't strong enough to hold onto them.
'why am i so weak?'
you grit your teeth, turn around and walk away;
but not before turning back to stare at the face of a traitor.
vacant eyes, gaunt features.
and shame, from everything you could've done..
but didn't

faith is not for the weak;
for faith is what pulls the strong along,
even when they FEEL weak.

HAPPY BIRTHDA TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DADDY...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!(:

GRACE DADDY is FINALLY 16! :D
finally LEGAL for nc16 movies, and what have you ;)
Grace, if you're reading this,
ACT SIXTEEN! and talk to mummy...
and grow taller, be less annoying, be less high and dsigusting..
(x haha, but BE HAPPY, daddy(:

It's so fast, how time flies.
GOSH, it's the THIRD week already.
no one's hiding the fact that we only have SIX WEEKS LEFT before prelims start..
and getting our prelim time table yesterday didn't help.
ohsonice 4i has put the day-coutdown to the prelims,
so we're essentially staring at our doom EVERYDAY. T.T
avoidance, is follish, yes;
but ignorance is always bliss. (:
heh.if life didn't have to speed up so fast,
if only we didn't have to grow up.

maybe that way, life would be alot easier.
just the dreams of running around,
laughing ourselves giddy.
maybe friends, family once in a while.
mmh, that would be nice.
i can't help but think
'what IS after this?'
after all, we DID grow till 16 from zero.
and at this age, we SEE ageing.
we SEE what could happen.
i can almost see it now;
get into jc, uni..get a job.
get married.have kids.
grow old.die.
hmmm. where's the fun in that?
i guess it's IN the process of growing up...
but, sometimes i can't bear to.
kinda sad, really;
the mroe you grow, the more you have to face life.
you can't run any more.
not like when you were young and tiny.

tch.such depressing thoughts.
and i don't even know what i'm doing here.
ironic, really;
i keep COMPLAINING about HOW SLACK i am..
yet i appear online for hours on end, reading.
so, i should just SHUT IT and blog.NICELY.
then, kill self with work later.

note to self: intensify work load so as to avoid guilt later.

THERE HAVE BEEN NO MORE SPIDERS!!!
MWAHAHAHAH!!!(: (:
haha, i think they've all moved to T-melia's table.
poor girl.now she has to be the one screaming like an idiot during lesson...
and i realise, we've been quite mean.
say it once, and not again?
HMMM.once more, tata?(x (KHONG..you've still got to do it x))
other than that, school's been quite monotonous.
teachers intensifying the lessons,
more worksheets,
the completion of subject syllbuses.
T.T it's scary, really.

OHWELL.
the world cup's DONE!
cannavaro's cute, poor france and zidane.
i wonder what materazzi said to him, for real.
HMMM.

OFF TO INDULGENCE!(:
solace in the things that are not real...

And so, a week has passed.
WEEK ONE HAS ENDED.
kinda scary, huh?
how time passes by so quicly.
haha.time has made that phrase cliche now.
we have EIGHT more weeks before prelims start in week TEN.
well, then.

adjustment;
is that what we all need now?
adjustment to a faster pace?
to a more pressing need to DO something,
rather than just be idle?
hmmm.
whatever happened to good old STONING. (or, meditating x) )
sigh.time for a reality chack;
time to face facts;
i want time,
i've got some.
no more asking for more than what i can't get.

i have a nice table partner(:
CACAT recess companions(:
and i keep laughing my head off cos of them.
it's all good(:
now, if only it can stay this way..
all the way through to week ten(:
oh and i ABHOR spiders.
TWO freaking spiders ATTACKED me yesterday.
they think i don't know bout their plan for WORLD DOMINATION!
'kill this weakling first (insert malicious laughter),
we'll slay the rest later..'
HAHA!but i KNOW.
i knew it was all a grand scheme to embarrass me during english!
i know fishy when i see it;
a brown JUIMPING spider
and a spider with only FOUR legs (which can fly by the way).
HAH!they think they're SO SMART.but i saw through it all!
be gone, dreadful spiders!
or i'll have to find some arachni-cides!
*beams menacingly/crazily at the (invisible) spiders*

other than that,
more random acts of cacat-ness include:
1) that very ENLIGHTENING talk in the canteen x)
[ahem, highly informative x)]
2) watching sumi and khong try to stuff ice down each other's shirts.
then, turning round and stuffing it down daddy's x)
hmm.this is bad.i can't remember any more.
i'm sure there are though;
with people from fourI,
cacat-ness is normal x)

WOOHOO!
more prayer sessions next week.
we need discipline. ):
6 more days...

So many things i wanna do.
so many trhings i SHOULD.
the term has started;
we only have 9 weeks left.
NINE WEEKS.
and i STILL can't get myslef to do the things i should.

it's so hard, fighting against yourself.
i think i'm becoming schizophrenic.
the constant bickering between the two halves of me.
and i yield, to pleasure,
rather than work.
everyone's picking up their paces.
and i'm still stuck in this gutter.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
more work, more focues, more determination.
less distractions, less paranoia.
there's only ONE way to go now;
so why am i still looking for alternatives?
is this human nature?
to fight against the things you're SUPPOSED to do?
so little time!!!
and i'm still thinking bout crap like this.
the june hols have gone to waste, then;
cos i still don't know the things i SHOULD.

i can't believe i've forgtten how to 'self motivate'.
and NOW, of all times.
what INCREDIBLE timing.
i'm fed up with myself.

then again, so what, right?
i should STOP pissing and moaning,
and get down to it already, right?
WELL, THEN.
someone slap me, shut me up and get me to work,
please.

this is hopeless.

Simple Plan.Promise
Breakdown
I can't take this
I need somewhere to go
I need you
I'm so restless
I don't know what to do

We've had our rough times
Fighting all night
And now you're just slipping away

Give me this chance
To make the wrongs right,to say
Don't don't don't walk away

I promise
I won't let you down
If you take my hand tonight
I promise
We'll be just fine this time
If you take my hand tonight
If you take my hand tonight

Without you I go through the motions
Without you it's just not quite the same
Without you I don't want to go out
I just wanted to say

That I'm sick of these fights
I'll let you be right
If it stops you from running away

So give me this chance
To make the wrongs right, to say
Don't don't don't walk away

I promise
I won't let you down
If you take my hand tonight
I promise
We'll be just fine this time
If you take my hand tonight

hmmm.i like.(:
represents hope, even after things have happened..

LET'S SEE.
4 days to the end of the June hols.
then again, it wasn't really a holiday, was it?
i didn't even realise time flying by so quickly.
i've got a mountain of homework left to go
(CHINESE KILLS!! T.T)
and stuff i wanna do,
(BLEACH IS INTERESTING! x) )
but there's too little time.

BAH.

i can't wait for the dec hols.
that's what everybody says anyway..
ooh, we must WORK HARD NOW.
we'll have A WHOLE MONTH TO WASTE AWAY.
5 months, and we'll be done with the past 4 years of education.
mmh, interesting.
time flies by SO QUICKLY.
if one month's passed without much of my knowing,
i wonder how fast 5 months will fly by.
ok, granted..
we have a term full of STRESS and WORK ahead of us,
plus TWO MAJOR EXAMS to go.
hmmm.i wonder.

it's so hard to do the things you should,
when they differ from the things you want to do.
no wonder people say it's easier if you actually LIKE studying.
maybe we should study 'studying' first,
before actually staudying.
maybe THAT way,
we'll multiply our time.

God, it's only 5 more months.
please sustain us till then.
we're nothing without Your strength;
lend it to us, for this last leg of the race...

We're usually supposed to do things we don't.
and when we do, it turns out that we don't really need to do them at all.
sometimes, we wish that we had known better,
calculated the odds better;
maybe then, we wouldn't be so stupid.
but the thing is, we are.
and even till we die,
we'll continue making stupid mistakes we regret later.

equivalent trade;
hmmm.i guess the world REALLY idn't fair.
even if you present something of equal worth,
you might not get what you want in the end.
some people get what they want,
some people don't.
yet, in some way or another,
all of us put in the same effort.
maybe our rewards aren't the ones we wish to get,
but maybe something we'll learn to appreciate in time.
who knows?
only God knows,
and only time will tell..

I LOVE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!(:
i know i shouldn't be addicted to anime now;
ESPECIALLY not THIS time of the year.
time to get serious and done some REAL work.

i wonder when we can get a hold of the movie...

i guess i'll never learn. xP

OKAY, i'm supposed to be STUDYING.
i was supposed to be STUDYING for the WHOLE of today.
but NO, i HAD TO succumb to the tempation of GOING OUT and usng this (stupid) COMPUTER.
then again, i only HAVE MYSELF TO BLAME.
so why am i COMPLAINING?

hmmm.i hate this shit.
shermaine, FOCUS; it's ONLY 6 months.
6 months to a final war cry.
6 months to a possible dream come true.
6 months to a..better future?
how quickly time SLIPS AWAY..
it's scary;
a WEEK (a friggin' WEEK) has gone past.
WHAT THE HELL AM I STILL DOING?
i think i'm going crazy. T.T

God, help me.
i commit all to you.

so many tragedies lately..
someone..err..passed away.
my maid's sis is in the philippines suffering with acute pneumonia.
their family's financial burden is grownig and there's only so much we can do.
her sister's condition is STILL deteriorating.
and her baby just turned one month old.
then, i wonder
'when did life become so frail?'
it's sad --life is SO SHORT.
everyone has to die one day.
we spend half our lives chasing dreams,
and the other half regretting the thigns we didn't do whilst we still could.
how tragic.
ultimately, it's about HOW you live your life, ain't it?
the things you do to impact others;
the decisions you make to implicate others.

i wonder how many people will be by my death bed.

we try, as far as possible, to live by our beliefs;
to live our dreams, while sill in contact with reality.
we TRY to gain as much respect as possible,
hoping people will remember us for who we are,
and what we stand for.
so HOW do you live?

that's a question that will take time, patience, love and experience to answer.

'Even in madness, I know you still believe
Paint me your canvas so I become
What you could never be

I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
Brand my soul and call me a liar
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to..'
--I dare you.Shinedown.

Some times, things happen.
we don't understand why, we don't understand how,
but they happen anyway.
and at the end of the day it ian't bout what happens,
or even what implications are caused,
but HOW we move on from there.

stay strong, shin wei.
we'll be here for you, if you EVER need us.
and dhilshad, i love you too(:

Psalm 23:
"The Lord is my sheperd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You annoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever"

Always...

and as for this week,
words to describe would be..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
x) haha, things happen when you're studying in school,
with a bunch of people who dare to do weird things. x)
perhaps, AGAIN? x)
phys lessons have FINALLY become interesting.
i actually UNDERSTOOD and LEARNED.
i'm sure most of 4i would share my sentiment. x)
2 days of "STUDY CAMP" with weird in-between activities x)
"I luRbbE euUxZ wORzX"
sining told me sthg funny.
i wonder what would happen if we played the same game,
in the same premise.
it'd be HILARIOUS.
..sadly, no one has the time anymore. ):

i miss the (crazy and cacat) leaders ):
CAN WE HAVE A LEADERS' OUTING?
(dareordoubledare? x))

HMMM.
it's gonna be one LONG holiday.
then again, the first weeks has already gone past.
it's amazing how time flies.
i'm still in shock.
someone SLAP me.

WAKE ME UP.
i'msuchapig.

ROUND pigs are cute.
INDEED x)
and if we're BOTH pigs... x)

Ronin.One more moment.
Don't take too long to say
"I love you" to the ones you love,
cause time has a habit of slipping away

Out on a clear blue sky,
when lighting strikes on a sunny day,
just take me in and keep me from the rain,

And the words that seem so hard to say,
come out when you've gone away,
stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,
and I need you by my side,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment with you

Turn around to say goodbye,
with each and every word that passes by,
like a distant memory,
and time keeps slipping away,
and time will turn to grey,
and time will be the one who holds you down,

And the words that seem so hard to say,
come out when you've gone away,
stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,
and I need you by my side,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,

And I want you by my side,
and I need you here tonight,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad,
Before you even know what's wrong,
and in the end it hits you hard,
please tell me you'll be strong

..i wonder if the world ended tmr,
how many people in the world would say 'i love you' to someone else and really mean it.

And SO IT ENDS.
one semester has FLOWN past.
i can't believe it;
HALF A YEAR has just gone past.
it's amazaing how i never really FELT it.
it was almost as if we were living day to day,
not really KNOWING how much time had passed.
settling down, OAC 06, LI 06..
and before we knew it,
the MYEs had come and gone.
gosh, this year passed so quickly.
never expected it to be so...

I guess this leaves even less room for contemplation and regret.
the last 6 months should be spent in ENTIRE contentment,
never looking back, but anticipating what's to come.
sure, things have happened;
relationships change, RESULTS came.
but through it all, good things happened.
we were forced to leave some things behind,
and to take up some things.
it's all good, though; it's all good.
to live in the moment;
one of the easiest things to say,
but one of the most difficult to accomplish.
i think it's in our nature to be paranoid,
but how much till that paranoia consumes us?
we keep worrying but the future, bout the past.
so, when do we LIVE FOR THE PRESENT?
to stop worrying, seems to be the answer.
but it's almost impossible to.
isn't it?

ONE MONTH.JUNE 2006.
our last chance to make up for everything.
we're told to STUDY HARD.
who wouldn't want an L1R5 of 6?
everyone does.
it's a matter of HOW MUCH you want it.
i believe by being in cedar,
all of us already have that inherant ability to get what we WANT.
the teachers tell us so, too.
now, we just have to do it.
things have always been easier said than done,
but they were never impossible.
WORK yes.we have to WORK for it.
there must surely be some truth to the saying
'you reap what you sow'
if people have been quoting it for so long(:

so to all those disheartned by their results..
JIAYOU!(:
it ain't impossible.
WE've just gotta WORK FOR IT.
and i know, that throughout that JOURNEY,
there will be friends cheering us on,
dragging us to be where we should be.
yep, it's usually the destination that counts,
BUT it's the journey that makes everything worthwhile(:

it's not about what you GET,
but the person you become even if you don't get it.
i can't quote that,
but it was inspired by what someone...wrote.
haha, i guess it's true.
it takes a big person to say that,
and a bigger person to believe that.
so, to...
i wish the best of everything.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
friend of 4 years
and
closer friend of barely 2 months.

The past 2 weeks have been ABLSOLUTE heaven.
no exams, no stress.
good company, plenty of fun and laughs.
I'M NOT COMPLAINING!
haha, we're told to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
CARPE DIEM!SEIZE THE DAY!
haha, so we will.
what's the point in life, if we don't? x)

"Oh I know that the music's fine
Like sparklin' wine, go and have your fun
Laugh and sing, but while we're apart
Don't give your heart to anyone
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me"
--Michael Buble.Save the last dance for me.

Put on them dancing shoes and dance the night away
haha, if we could moment forever,
i'd freeze time now.
the past makes us who we are,
the present defines us.
YEAH MAN.
just a few more days of relaxation.
then, it's back to work.
but WHO CARES.
nothing is free from work.
better to make use of BREAKS.

210506-
WENT TO THE BEACH WITH MY PUBCOMM!!(: (:
haha, got drenched while cycling.
HAHA, but we continued anyway.
THANK GOD for such FINE weather(:
the first pucommm outing in 5 months and it was PERFECT(:
more good memories with the pubcomm(:
rachael hong and deborah lam;
thank you.

190506-
CROSS COUNTRY!
yay!got top 100.haha.
expected to get ALOT less.so, i'm HAPPY(:
(and someone finally passed something she owed me for 1month and 6days? x) THANKYOU)
WENT OUT FOR THE HOT anniversary! :D
haha, we're two this year? x)
8 of us-sarah, grace, vi, ziyan, dolly, jazzy, ahu and i.
MAD time at seoul garden.
laughing, taking pics, watching some people behave INAPPROPRIATELY x)
haha, it was fun(:
then we went SHOPPING.
goodness, we were so tired after that x)
so we bought a movie (walk the line)and sarah, grace, vi and jazzy came over to watch it.
ended up watching ella enchanted instead x)
haha, but it was worth it(:
FULL HOT outing soon, perhaps?(:
i'm HOPING! *crosses fingers*

hmm.speaking of HOT outings,
when can we have another leaders' one? x)
HEHEH.i miss the kitchen dept.. ):

the rest of the days have been spent slacking/wasting away.
haha.better now than never, hmmm?
5 more days..5 more.
to the end of something,
and the beginning of another(:

'..i'm so used to living under the surface.

And i walk on water,
and you will catch me if i fall.
and i will get lost into your eyes.
And everything will be alright.'
-Lifehouse.Storm.

And so, the good week ends.
RESULTS BACK THIS WEEK.
did terribly for chem, bio and ss/geog.
well, what's a person to do?
you put in EFFORT,
yet you don't see RESULTS.
life's funny that way;
you never really reap what you sow.
most irritating thing is that this time ain't the first.

4/i's a freaky class.
first in what, 4 subjects and 1 elective?
hmmm, and we were the 'just made it' class..

we're supposed to start STUDYING again, this week.
sometimes, i seriously don't see the point-
you SLOG it out for ONE exams,
only to get SHIT results.
then we're expected to GO BACK again.
it's probably not any of the teachers' faults,
but it still can't be helped if we do badly and feel bad.

this SHOULD be a trivial matter.
this SHOULD be a small set back.
then again, when have we ever done what SHOULD be done?
we rebel against everything we're MADE to be.
who's to say things are ever gonna be 'normal'?
MID YEARS DON'T COUNT.
that's a fact.
but SO WHAT?
it scared ME shitless.
i wonder what's gonna happen if our L1R5s all looked bad for prelims.
i can't say EVERYONE did badly for midyears,
but i think it's safe to say most of us did.

some overcame.
some backslid.
some stayed stagnant.

you run; you run your hardest.
you see that you're ahead;
then, like a sudden downpour,
you're chasing people's dust clouds.
and all you're left with is mud,
the rain and blurry vision.
should it decide to pour in the prelims..
will we remain a cut above the rest?
..or left to slow down in mud?

it doesn't matter.
it DOESN'T matter.

so why does it still eat me?

To the most awesome people in the world-
THANK YOU,
for making may 12th and 13th absolutely THE BEST.
the SWEETEST birthday;
much less sixteenth birthday, hmmm?
haha, thanks people.
y'all know who you are :D

..it doesn't happen,
till it happens in your heart.

WELL.
i'll remmeber this.
'cos it HAPPENED.
in a big way(:

The HOTfamily, 3/i-4/i 05-06.
thank you...
and to all those who remembered(:
thanks loads(:

i'm SIXteen.
HAH.that's funny.

THEY ARE OVER!
YES!!!!FINALLY OVER!
the MYEs of 2006 are FINALLY OVER!
goodness knows what a nerve wrecjign week that was;
the late night mugging and early morning STUDYING.
not to mention the wake up CALL ;)
MEMORIES that'll surely repeat with the prelims and Os.
WE HAVE A WEEK OFF FROM SCHOOL!(:
such a blessing(:
haha, now to PLAY HARD.
(before the MINDLESS studying starts again T.T)

WE WENT CRAZY AFTER THE PHYSICS PAPER!
screaming answers in the canteen!
then running after a certain MUTHU BOY (and being dao-ed) in the FOYER.
or, the indecisiveness in deciding WHAT TO DO x)
or WHERE AND WHAT TO EAT! x)
so, we finally decided on pizza hut in ps.
discussed POLITICS! 0.0 and SMELLY CHEESE! x)
haha, then we decided to go down to the new cine cinema..
HURHUR.LONG WALK!
and watched "when a stranger calls"!!
haha, the six of us (jing, daddy, tata, khong, sining and i)
sat in the lovers seats.
TSK! xx) but it was really funny seeing jing SCREAMING,
or tata and khong screaming prematurely and sinking in their seats.
OR ALL six of us using our jackets and covering our faces till our noses.
HAHA.but the movie was SHOCKING man.
and poor girl; became psycho after the whole thing.
SIGH.oh well..
lessons learnt:
1)NEVER BABY SIT IN A SECLUDED HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE EVEN THOUGH THE HOUSE LOOKS DARN NICE AND EVEN HAS A POND IN IT.
2)do not be stupid and ask your friend to leave when it's raining/stroming.
3)ALWAYS stay with the maid; she might die.
4)HIDE the kids in a trunk and tuck all bits of cloth into the trunk.
5)do not have weird ceilings which can hide people.

WOOHOO!/then we went to take very LiAnXz NeoPRintSZ!
haha, we're such deprived beings x)
BUT, better now than never x)
(can't believe we're in sec 4 already) ):
haha, then we WINDOW SHOPPED!
and went to have CHEESECAKE at nydc(:
haha, played caiquan and kena-ed twice.
the concoction was DISGUSTING!!! :S
ECK.haha.

woohoo, SENTOSA TMR!(:

i can't believe the work as to REASTART soon.
it's ridiculous.

oh well.
all in stride x)

I'm not supposed to be here blogging..
but i just couldn't resist after reading..
SOMETHING.

It's sad how friendships disintegrate with the passing of time.
WHY DO THEY?..i wonder.
is it because one party couldn't care less?
is it because BOTH parties can't be bothered?
especially ones which have lasted so long..
why now, why EVER?
some questions weren't meant to be answered, i guess.
i want so badly to shake those people who couldn't care less;
do they see how much their HURTING their old friends?
unless, of course, they no longer mean anything.
but, i doubt after so long, it wouldn't mean anything to them.
perhaps, they really ARE that heartless.
THEY'VE MOVED ON!
gotten new friends, gotten new BEST friends.
and now, what's to become of the one they 'forgot'?
'old friends are gold' INDEED.
that's quite a DEAD fact now, isn't it?
like rag dolls, we're thrown aside to fester with the RUBBISH.
is THAT what we mean to all those who have 'MOVED ON'?
RUBBISH?!mean to FESTER?!
HAHA.how funny.
i think they've forgotten we're human too.

it's the most un-Godly thing to do,
but HOW I WISH I COULD SEE REVENGE BEING EXACTED.
i wonder what would happen if the tables were turned,
the roles were reversed.
would THEY be saying the same things we are?
would they even CARE?
walk on, always walk on.
walkING on.
it's heart breaking to know, much less FEEL and SEE.
but reality is..
i see more and more people being hurt by these 'OLD FRIENDS'.
to identify or sympathize with?
HAH.such a real concept.such real situations..
yet we've all but forgotten there are other going through the same things.
we think we are ALONE.

that's the saddest thing;
thinking you're ALONE.
cos in truth, we never are.
only, we need to open up out EYES and our HEARTS to see,
to FEEL.
sometimes, wounds heal best when you rub salt into them.
perhaps, we are the salt to each other's wounds;
to pick each other up, reopen the old wounds and walk on..
TOGETHER.

hey pigg, if you ever read this...
you're not alone.
i just wanted you to know that though WE haven't seen you in AGES,
we still MISS YOU, TERRIBLY.
one day, babe..one day.
all three of us will go out again,
like LAST YEAR and laugh ourselves SILLY.
GELARE!and keep all the receipts for a certain SOMEONE to refund us..
haha, or walk around randomly again.
i know we'll never be able to turn back time,
but we can pick up the pieces and form new memories again.
we've never forgotten you, dear.
it took us so long to accept the fact that we didn't see you around any more..
you can ask the BLUR ONE.
countless conversations, countless discussions.
we've NEVER forgotten.

if you can find it in you..
let us back in, darl.

LOVE YOU, DEAR!

"Everyone is changing,
there's no one left that's real;
to make up your own ending,
and let me know just how you feel.
Cause I am lost without you,
I cannot live at all;
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl..."
--puddle of mudd.blurry.

HMMM.school life's speeding up again.
tests, HOMEWORK, revision..
THE MID YEAR EXAMS.
that VERY thought is depressing.
and it isn't comforting to know that it's going to be
ESPCIALLY TOUGH.
then again, better now then during the Os i guess.
the self EXPECTAIONS are suffocating,
the stress is building.
it's a wonder the busier people haven't exploded.

WHY were we CURSED with such ********??
take it in stride? RIGHT.

FRIENDSHIP.
brings the greatest pleasures and the deepest pains.
the ULTIMATE double-edged sword.
one minute you're high, the next, you've hit rock bottom.
you'll never know; you could never guess.
it's disturbing to a certain extent,
but sucess comes to those who risk.
applies to every aspect of life, i guess.
we take a chance with certain people,
hoping that they would take that same chance with us.

sometimes, it ends badle, and people get hurt.
most choose to leave it and move one,
others cannot leave.
it's most heart breaking to know that they WILL themselves not to leave.
is it delusion to think that some situations are salvagable?
is it stupidty to wait for oppotunity to walk past again?
these things we'll never really know;
cos after waiting, we are blinded to such opporunitues,
and give up our only chances of 'making things better'.

then, there are the happy times-
times of laughter, times we happily reminisce.
we smile in reflection,
WE FEEL LIBERATED.
and somehow, we'll never forget.
cynics see it as life's most cruel joke;
to have happiness, but lose it all one day.
who's to know if happiness is eternal?
better to live in the moment,
than to worry about eternity.
'better to have loved and lost,
than to have not loved at all'.

Then, we think about LOVE.
what does it mean?
can it be described?
a feeling; that's what it is.
and i guess, we can search for all eternity long,
to find no such definition.
we SEE it, in daily actions, WORDS.
and we are to wrapped up in it,
we take it for granted.

it's sad that God's greatest gift to the world is wasted, in that way.

OH WELL.
back to the books, i guess.
goodness, life is MONOTONOUS.
i await the 16th of November 2006(:

FREEDOM!

Default.Wasting my time
Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again

Well this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Just make the call, and take it all

Papa Roach.Scars
Tear my heart open, i sew myself shut
My weakness is, i care too much
And my scars remind me,
that the past is REAL.
I tear my heart open, just to feel.

Michelle Branch.Everywhere
Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Westlife.If I let you go
I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
but sooner or later I've gotta choose
and once again
I'm thinkin' about taking the easy way out

Michelle branch.All you wanted
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the time comes
I'd take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares

It's funny how songs you used to listen to still mean so much NOW.
it's funny how you can see the same situations repeating itself.
it's funny how in retrospect,
nothing else could be done.

It's funniest when we wish we could do it go back and do it right.

GUIDES CAMPFIRE 2006.
it was nice(:
everything came together nicely, i think(:
good job, y'all.

something someone told me caused me to think.
did i ever mean anything to YOU?
what was i EVER to you?
there's always been this ONE question i wanted to ask;
but now, after everything..
how can i ask it again?
the stupid things i did, the foolish things i said.
i could apologise a thousand times over,
but it wouldn't be enough.

in retrospect,
i couldn't be more stupid.
so now, i pay the price.

WHY WON'T YOU JUST TALK TO ME?

Time passes.
people change.
it's comforting to know some remain the same.
situations may change, company might vary;
but at the end of the day,
there are some who never really morph with time.
those people are blessings,
and even more so,
if we can still complement each other like we used to.

i feel blessed.

theHOTfamily.
3i 05/4i 06
CPB.
instructors 05/OALs 06.

God, forgive me.
i've strayed so far.
draw me close to You, one again..

PP macs; forever and always, huh?
the leaders spent FOUR hours talking,
laughing, confessing.
it was all good.
i'll miss the OALs.
we should do it agian, some time(:
(perhaps, we'll actually go to MAC NET? (: )

mmh.went out to pp koptiam with wanping, yusin, belle, arica and sarah too.
talked, exahnged STORIES.
laughed, fell prey to an April fools' joke
(i'm gonna get you ONE DAY, FAIZAH)
and picked up on SCANDALS. (diandiandian! ;) )

we don't always get what we wish for.
but for those that do come true...
we don't always treasure.

'let's pretend that i've moved on and that life goes on without YOU.'

Have you ever been there;
in a place where you regret everything you've done,
everything you've said?
when memories flash by,
reminding you of the person you could've been,
but not are?

Have you ever been there;
in a place of no consequence,
where things move monotonously?
when you can't tell the past from the present,
confused about everything that lies behind,
in front, or BEFORE you?

Have you ever been there;
in a place where you see the possible future,
and what you would do, in time to come?
have you ever been afriad of teh thigns you MIGHT do,
have you ever feared the reoccurance of a mistake,
espcially a big one?

Sometimes, i don't know where i am.
sometimes, i don't know WHO i am.
the scariest thing is that sometimes,
we don't bother.
i'm losing sight of the things before me,
i don't know what i'm supposed to do NOW.
lost meanings, blurred lines.
how can we exist without purpose?

are we living, or merely existing?
sometimes, i wonder.

someone just told me to 'not be too afraid'.
it's comical how that applies to every aspect of life.
we lose, we gain.
at teh end of the day,
will THEY stay?

sometimes, i wonder.

That quiet desperation;
a plea for help, perhaps.
trapped, alone, smothered.
there is seemingly no way out.
so many things lie ahead,
and there IS only one road to take.
you had come so far...
to give it all up now?

sometimes, i'd like to think ignoreance was bliss;
that expectation never really befell the ignorant.
they were blissfully unaware of what the society expected,
of what others expected.
perhaps, then, they didn't have any presonal expectations.
nothing to mould their future, nothing to shape their thoughts.
isn't that a scary thought;
not to have any backing, not to have skeletal beliefs.
what does it mean to live, when you're ignorant?
would we rather be 'blissful', then?

sometimes, the choices we make lead us to more choices;
innumerable number of roads to walk down,
countless decisions to make.
yet, at each and every crossroad we come to,
sensations are different; predicaments are different.
can we trust TRENDS, then?
the superstitious believe in a certain trend that governs all else;
that a particular action would DEFINITELY lead to a particular outcome.
no wonder there are the sceptics;
nothing's ever the same.

life then, life now;
if they were meant to be different?
why do they feel the same?
that monotony, the feeling we're PULLED along to SOMEWHERE.
we are expected to 'perform' this year.
expected by society?expected by self?
WHICH IS WORSE?
i guess we all some to a point where we no longer know who's expectations we're living up to.
after all, society shapes who we are,
and what we expect of ourselves.
BUT, humans can only take SO much.
when do we crack, when do we burst?
i don't want to see the day,
yet, i have a feeling it's inevitable.

strange, isn't it;
that we're all supposedly 'unique',
but at the end of the day,
we only have personal betterment in mind.
the process of getting there, eh?
perhaps, just perhaps...

daunting.
yet, exciting.
caught in the limbo between anxiety and anticipation,
and i finally realise that the line has been blurred.
then again, who am i to judge?
so many before me, so many among us;
all equally if noe MORE talented.
who am i to feel such pressure?

i wonder when i'll ever be as good as the rest.
perhaps, never.
then again, only we can live for ourselves.
so why bother about the rest?

GAH.i think schizophrenia's inborn.
it's how much you show it that determines whether or not you're a nut case.

Just had another random phone call.
i wonder if we'll leave an impact when we leave,
the way our seniors impacted us..

GOOD LUCK IN AJ!

Leaders' Investiture 2006.
it was great!(:
all the committess, the commitment, the HARD WORK.
everything paid off yesterday.
the feedback waa good, we felt great.
what more could we have asked for?
to think it was our last investiture...

DECO COMM:
Y'ALL ROCK MY SOCKS OFF!
everything we did together-
the PAINTING, the SQUISHY PAINT, the STYROFOAM, the RETARDED BANNER PAINTING, the GLITTER, the BALLS (christmas and PINK AND GREEN ones), the CLOTH, the RIBBONS, the WORDS, the CELLOPHANE.
everything looked great yesterday.(:
thanks to all those who helped out(:
evelyn and i went back into the MPH to take photos of ALL the deco put up..
so, expect to see the pics soon!(:
deco comm 06 rocks!

IT COMM:
GOSH.the ones who work the latest.
all yopur lat night [aid off!
the videos were GREAT!(: (:
all of you DESERVE A BREAK.
SLEEP MORE!
thanks, IT comm, for the times we bummed at belle's house too.
a few more for the memories!(:

THE REST OF THE COMMS:
thanks for everything!(:
it all came together very nicely yesterday(:
thanks for helping out with deco too(:

THE PLAY PEOPLE:
the numerous rehearsals, the constant editing of the script, EVERYTHING.
i'll miss EVERYTHING.
thank you DIRECTORS; i don't think we would've gotten into character as easily as we did, without them(:
thank you CHARACTERS!the line running, the nervous fits, the weird warm-ups, the AM CHIO-ING, the LAUGHING.haha, i enjoyed myself(: the characters were great!(: [jasna/PMthegreat;kelsey/#AG74;devika/SG#1/manyara)
thank you dancers!hahahaha, I LOVED THE DANCES!(: (:

SEC 4 PCs 06:
we'll continue to rock.
I had fun at swensens.
the spastic photo taking, the GOSSIPING (ohsocharmingzl!), the SLOW eating, the MESSY EATER, the salt and pepper drink, the ice cream we couldn't finish, the LAUGHING..the bonding.
another thing to remember the pcs by.
i can't believe it's all gonna end 8 months down the road.
take care, y'all..take care.

I'll miss the rehearsals.[eventhoughtheyweretimeconsuming,frustratingandheadache-causing]
All the times ***** did HIGH-KNEE LIFTS.
the very loud whispering.
the lunches after rehearsals.
the talking before/during/after the rehearsals.
the bumming at belle's house.
the gossiping.
the LAUGHING. [okay, so we laughed alot..]
EVERYTHING.

our best one yet,
our best one yet...